Gotta go wash my eyes. That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.

Michael

She's also fully effaced, which... I don't know what that is.

Jim

I love escorting people... I put an ad out for an escort service and got A LOT of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.

Dwight

Michael: Should I bring a dictionary?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus.

Michael: Is it midnight yet?
Phyllis: It's 4:35.

Pam: Don't be mad.
Jim: Mad? How could I be mad? We're having a little girl.

Kevin: Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.
Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car.

No one touch Pam's nipples! Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.

Michael

Phyllis: I can put on lipstick the way Molly Ringwald does in The Breakfast Club.
Michael: I don't think anyone wants to see that.

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