You have to call me by my name, Gabriel Susan Lewis.


If I wanted Jamaican food I'd just hire a bunch of body guards and go there.


Ryan: I will have a glass of you oakiest chardonnay, please.
Erin: And I will have a waffle, with your mapleiest syrup.

Jim: How many buttons do you have?
Dwight: 40...always.

Genghis Kahn could take them both down, because he's not afraid to kill children.


I can't be hypnotized Dwight. I tried it. I ended up smoking more.


Ryan switched his name tag to his pants, so now it's like if you wear yours on your shirt you're a total dip, but if you switch you're a copy cat.


Paramedic: You have appendicitis.
Ryan: Oh, who called it? Nothing but net.

It's just rum. I'm not bored, I'm a pirate.


I'm a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that's a master baiter.


Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love's kiss.

So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis.


The Office Season 8 Quotes

Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?
Andy: Yes I do.
Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?
Andy: I don't care.

A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.