Between your genius and my nothing we make a great team, come on give me a hug!

Homer

Fine, we'll both go, and if anyone asks you something you don't understand, just say protons.

Homer

Squaky, until I met you, I never thought I could love something bald.

Bart

Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Milhouse: Booyah!
Bart: Now you're not.

Ok Marge we can go to the circus, maybe I can finally find out why a man would think a stool is a proper defense against a lion.

Homer

I don't have time for childish games. If I don't do my job, atoms go boom!

Homer

It's like rooting for the Cubs, you keep thinking they'll make it, and then you realize they never ever will.

Don

Well I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.

Lisa

Marge: Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.
Homer: Fine.

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Wow, this place is completely alien, but everything's in English, just like Canada!

Homer

Homer: Look at all these knobs and buttons. They're clearly a superior race. Maybe that means they'll be nice to us.
Lisa: You mean like Europeans were to the Native Americans or the Belgians were to The Congo?
Homer: That's right, pick the only two times in history where things got messy.

They revamped this ride because of massive complaints from two people.

Lisa

The Simpsons Quotes

The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!