Between your genius and my nothing we make a great team, come on give me a hug!

Homer

Fine, we'll both go, and if anyone asks you something you don't understand, just say protons.

Homer

Squaky, until I met you, I never thought I could love something bald.

Bart

Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Milhouse: Booyah!
Bart: Now you're not.

Ok Marge we can go to the circus, maybe I can finally find out why a man would think a stool is a proper defense against a lion.

Homer

I don't have time for childish games. If I don't do my job, atoms go boom!

Homer

It's like rooting for the Cubs, you keep thinking they'll make it, and then you realize they never ever will.

Don

Well I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.

Lisa

Marge: Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.
Homer: Fine.

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Wow, this place is completely alien, but everything's in English, just like Canada!

Homer

Homer: Look at all these knobs and buttons. They're clearly a superior race. Maybe that means they'll be nice to us.
Lisa: You mean like Europeans were to the Native Americans or the Belgians were to The Congo?
Homer: That's right, pick the only two times in history where things got messy.

They revamped this ride because of massive complaints from two people.

Lisa

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!