The Simpsons

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(Mayor Quimby address the comic book convention.)
Mayor Quimby: You might say I feel like....Radiation Man!
Jimbo: That's Radioactive Man, jerk!

This looks like a discount for...Bartman!

Bart

Mrs. Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy!
Bart: No thanks!
Mrs. Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: Ueeeh. I think I'd just rather get to work m'am.

(To earn money for his comic book, Marge suggests that Bart get a job.)
Bart: Me!?
Wonder Years Voice: Get a job? Were they serious? I didn't realize it at the time, but a little bit of my childhood had slipped away...forever.
Homer: Bart! What are you staring at?
Bart: Uh...nothing.
Wonder Years Voice: He didn't say it and neither did I, but at that moment, my dad and I were closer than we ever--
Homer: Bart! Stop that!
Bart: Sorry!

Bart: We worked so hard and now it's all gone. We ended up with nothing because the three of us can't share.
Milhouse: What's your point?
Bart: Nothing, just kinda ticks me off.

Marge: So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Bart: Aw, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful--
Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid.

Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!
Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!
Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!
(And so on until...)
Bart: Please Dad!
Homer: No!!! Now look, son, we all know that usually when you bug me like this, I give in, so I'm not mad at you for trying. It shows you've been paying attention. But we all know I'm not going to give you $100! Now are you going to stop bugging me?
Bart: No!
Homer: Are you?
Bart: No!
Homer: Are you?
Bart: No!
(And so on until...)
Homer: Are you?
Bart: (frustrated) Okay!
Homer: (triumphant) Hee hee! I win! In your face! (punches Bart's shoulder) Yeah! How do you like them apples?

(Bart, Milhouse, and Martin discuss their ownership of the comic)
Martin: How about this, guys? Bart can have it Mondays and Thursdays, Milhouse will get it Tuesdays and Fridays, and yours truly will take it Wednesdays and Saturdays.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about Sundays?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about Sundays?
Martin: Well, Sunday possession will be determined by a random number generator. I will take the digits 1 through 3, Milhouse will have 4 through 6, and Bart will have 7 through 9.
Bart: Perfect!
Milhouse: Wait a minute! What about 0?
Bart: (suspiciously) Yeah, what about 0?
Milhouse: Yeah!
Martin: Well, in the unlikely event of a 0, possession will be determined by rock scissors paper competition, best 3 out of 5, how's that?
(Bart and Milhouse agree.)

Marge: Homer, it's really coming down! Could you check on the boys?
(Homer sees Bart and Milhouse fighting in the treehouse as lightning flashes nearby)
Homer: They're fine.

Homer: Hey, when I was your age, 50 cents was a lot of money.
Bart: Really?
Homer: Naah!

(after he sniffed the comic book) It smells like my Grandpa.

Milhouse

A hundred bucks?! For a comic book! Who drew it, Micha-ma-langelo?

Homer
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 350 in total

The Simpsons Season 2 Quotes

Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world.

Lance Murdoch

Mrs. Glick: Here, have some ribbon candy. Boys love candy!
Bart: No thanks!
Mrs. Glick: Boys love candy!
Bart: Ueeeh. I think I'd just rather get to work m'am.