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The-simpsons

Bart: How'd a pull up like you get a great card like that?
Ralph: My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo.
Bart: Ralph, I will play you for that card.
Ralph: Okay, but if I win, you'll have to teach me how to play this game

That's drug talk. But I could be mistaken. Just let me listen to a little more out of context.

Marge

Chief Wiggum: Hey, what you packing, Simpson?
Homer: Just my lunch. Chicken parm, meatball parn, eggplant parm, shishka parm, angel hair parm, moo goo gai parm. My wife can parm anything.
Chief Wiggum: My wife only parms on my birthday and that's only if I give her the sad puppy dog look.

Homer: Community service? But that's work! What about jail?
Judge: Community service!
Homer: No, I want to go to jail. Free food, tear drop tattoos, library books that come to you. I'll serve anything but the community!

Bart: I don't even remember if Dylan is a boy or girl.
Marge: Of course, you do. Dylan is a ... let me check the invitation, fish theme, that tells me nothing!

And that's where we came in. Now, without further ado, here's what happened next. But first, I'll daydream about a sport utility vehicle, a crispy chicken sandwich, and a wonderful blue pill!

Mr. Burns

Guard: It's time for a cavity search.
Mr. Burns: Oh, I haven't cavity in forty years.
Guard: I wasn't talking about your teeth.
Mr. Burns: Nor was I.

Marge: Play with Lisa.
Bart: You don't play with Lisa, you play despite her.
Lisa: Bart, I'm not thrilled either, but one day we might need each other for a transplant so we better keep the lines of communication going.

Moe: Get your throwing stuff! Turn the protest into a riot!
Milhouse: How much for a tomato?
Moe: Fresh stuff for a dollar. Rotten is two bucks.
Kirk: Son, do you really need the rotten? I mean, it's not like you're actually gonna hit him.

Is it a crime to want nice things and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.

Mr. Burns

Carl: Sir, your spare ribs, cooked just the way you like them.
Mr. Burns: Spare ribs eh? I've played around with ten pins a time or two in my life and, to me, the term spare reeks of second best. Give me ten full frames of strike ribs. [to Lenny]: And you, find my doctor and find out why I'd ask for something as insane as strike ribs.

Mr. Burns: The power plant's new annual Fourth of July picnic is this upcoming Saturday.
Homer: Woohoo!
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid you misunderstand. This picnic is for me, you will all be spending your Independence Day slaving away in the hot summer sun with no pay, lotion, or gratitude.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 213 in total

The Simpsons Season 21 Quotes

I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.

Ralph

Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable!
Homer: Great, would you like to see me naked?
Studio Exec: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie
Homer: What movie?

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