The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 21 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 21 Episode 17: "American History X-Cellent"

Mr. Burns [narrating]: I'll tell you my tale.. by thinking it to myself.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 21 Episode 16: "The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed"

Homer: Celebrate your comonality. Some of us don't eat pork, some of us don't eat shellfish, but we all of us love chicken.
Mulism: You can simmer it in a tajeet.
Jew: In a soup, you can boil it.
Homer: Spread the word: peace and chicken.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jacob: What? Israel people are pushy? How about you experience a few genocides and see how laid back you are. We were perished from Spain. Thrown out of there. They allow everyone in Spain. But for us, Jews, no flamenco, get out. I'm pushy? Please. You stay there surrounded by your great enemy Canada. Try sitting here for two months, then we'll see who's pushy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Hibbert: Mind if I have a word with your wife?
Homer: As you wish. But look upon her not with lust. And do not send her friendly emails, that's how it begins.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: Homie, you're alive.
Homer: I am more than alive, woman. I am the chosen one, who shall unite all the faiths of the holy land. I am the messiah.
Marge: But you still have the passports right?
Homer: Oh yeah, gotta keep track of those. THE MESSIAH! has the passports.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer [referring to a camel]: Ahh, a sand horse, car of the desert.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Quit going for my groin.
Israeli Girl: No groin, no Krav Maga. Hello groin.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Bart: You don't fight like a girl, or even a Milhouse.
Israeli Girl: I don't know what is Milhouse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Why am I running from a girl? Hey call me when you're old enough for a Bat Mitzvah and I'll send you an envelope full of nothing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hoomer [seeing Bart taking out paper from the Wailing Wall]: Hey boy, we're supposed to be acting religiously, what are you doing?
Bart: Reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer [on the phone]: I was wondering, do you deliver falafel to the top of Mt. Zion? Great. I'd like a large falafel with pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese. Yes I know what a falafel is.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: Homer, do you think you could show just the slightest bit of reverence?
Homer: Ned, I'm an American tourist. I'm just here to see some sights, try some goofy new foods, and spread some sheckles my with my Carolina Panthers credit card. Go Panthers!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: This country is so historic, for all we know Jesus could have given a talk in conference room C.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: Our bible study group is going to the holy land next month. I'd like to take you and your family along as my guests.
Homer: Hmm, let me think. Take my family to a war zone on a bus filled with religious lameos in a country with no pork in a desert with no casinos. Where do I sign up?
Marge: Homer, I can hear your sarcasm from inside the house and the dishwasher is on.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Reverend Lovejoy: God has never given up on anyone
Ned: What about Sodom and Gomorrah?
Reverend Lovejoy: He lovingly destroyed them.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: Now let us download the holy tweet of the Lord.
Agnes: Stop making this relatable!
Jimbo: Hey, as a youth if I don't hear a computer word every couple sentences, I am out of here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 21 Episode 15: "Stealing First Base"

Bart [about Skinner]: Hey, Willie, does he taste like failure?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Nikki: I know CPR!
Bart: Nikki, no! I prefer a dead child to a law suit from your parents.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michelle Obama: That's right, Lisa, as an avid organic gardner I've read your blog.
Lisa: Flotus1 is First Lady of the United States, one.
Michelle Obama: Yes, I wanted just flotus, but someone had it.
Ralph: That's me because I swim with my flotuses on.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Superintendent Chalmers: By now you've haard that one of our fourth graders did something that 100 years ago would have been completely innocent but in today's over litigious society has been blown completely out of proportion.
 • Rating: Unrated

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