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The-simpsons

I can't do it. A balloon saved one of my arteries. It wouldn't seem right to shoot one of his cousins.

Carl

Homer: Can we at least get some french fries?
Cheech: Too high in trans fats.
Homer: Awwwwww, stop speaking Spanish.

Okay man, what I'm looking for in a new Cheech is someone who is like open-minded and adventurous. I haven't decided about the mustache yet, but you need your own suspenders.

Chong

Marge: Remember, on the road the only vice you can indulge in is gluttony. Save lust and rage for me and the kids.
Homer: Honey, don't worry, I'm gonna come back so horny and angry.

I can't do reefer comedy, I'm drunk! Two different animals.

Homer

Chief Wiggum: Get me a t-shirt - XXL.
Lou: I thought you said XXL was a real wake up call?
Chief Wiggum: That was for pants.

Bart: Who the hell asre Cheech and Chong?
Homer: Cheech and Chong were the Beavis and Butthead of their day!
Bart: Who are Beavis and Butthead?

Their can do will bail out our won't try every time.

Homer

Homer: We're in the same boat.
Pharmaceutical Exec: My boat has me and hundreds of lawyers. Your boat is you and a lot of people with their eyes popped out.

Otto: You sell drugs, why can't you dress like that?
Drug Dealer: Cause I use them too idiot.

Bart: Are they robots?
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep: No, robots can develop human feelings. We're graduates of Arizona State.
Pharmaceutical Exec: I scoop them up by the Sorority.
Nerd: This is the nerd fraternity!
Pharmaceutical Exec: Drop them off in research.

What can I do for you? Eat something green? Vote for someone brown?

Grampa
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 203 in total

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes

Lisa: Quiet. It's time for the noblest Nobel Prize of all.. the Peace Prize.
Homer: I would kill for that!

Homer: It's 4 am, you kids should have been in bed a half hour ago.
Lisa: We're watching the Nobel Prize announcement lives from Stockholm.
Homer: Ooh, the Nobies.

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