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The-simpsons

That's great honey, if you were a boy you'd be a scientist.

Homer

Grampa: The television only has one channel.
Aide: That's a fish tank!
Grampa: You're a fish tank.
Aide: That was hurtful. I wish I was a fish tank, then I could filter out his nasty words.

Nelson: Did you find any gold?
Bart: Even better, the prospectors left naughty French postcards.
Nelson: Bart, this is fool's porn, I'll take it off your hands.

Chalmers: I recall you took a sick day of which you had none.
Skinner: I was gonna lose my foot...
Chalmers: Of which you have two.

Hey this is one of the planets in Star Wars.

Otto [upon arriving at desert]

According to this live blog, Ben Stiller and Jack Black are doing a bit that will not end.

Marge

I was born a rolling 80's, I'll die a rolling 80's.

Homer

Red Carpet Interviewer: And Lisa, who are you wearing?
Lisa: I believe it's from Lamps Plus.

And I'd like to thank the women who's been inspiring me for the last 25 years... the cute one from The Bangles.

Homer

Don't feel bad boy. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours is just public and expensive.

Homer

Herman Millwood: Is Bart Simpson here? Because I'm about to make him and his family very wealthy
Homer: Wealthy? Remember the guy that drove you to school that one time?

Marge: You guys went gray yourselves.
Selma: No we didn't, this is just smoke and ash.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 203 in total

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes

Lisa: Quiet. It's time for the noblest Nobel Prize of all.. the Peace Prize.
Homer: I would kill for that!

Homer: It's 4 am, you kids should have been in bed a half hour ago.
Lisa: We're watching the Nobel Prize announcement lives from Stockholm.
Homer: Ooh, the Nobies.

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