The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 22 Episode 9: "Donnie Fatso"

Homer: Wow I've never seen a mobster use a track suit for exercising.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lunch lady: You know this is made from rancid pigeons?
Homer: Just get the ladle down there deep. That's where the beaks are.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Poor Tony. He didn't deserve this. He was just a solider in a war he started.
 • Rating: Unrated

Fat Tony: To heterosexual male friendship. The kind the ancient Greeks wrote about.
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: Eh it was either this or put in a ladies' room.
 • Rating: Unrated

Krusty: If Jews control the media, why can't I get on Jimmy Kimmel?
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Ugh, I don't even want to smell sparkling apple juice again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 22 Episode 8: "The Fight Before Christmas"

Bart: I didn't get anybody pregnant. I didn't Facebook a kid to death. Make with my dirt bike!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Someday, TV will be invented. And it will be free! Then it will cost money.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: This tree reminds me of your father. Round in the middle, thinning up top and your hands get sticky when you touch him.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krusty [as Santa]: Kid, this company's bust. For years I've been giving away free toys and getting cookies in return. It's not a sustainable business model.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krusty: I'm sure in the 25 years of Earth time you've been gone, your parents have been worried.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nelson: After NAFTA, a lot of these jobs went to the South Pole.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: You mean your gingerbread McMansion.
Homer: Show some respect, three gingerbread men died making that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 22 Episode 7: "How Munched is That Birdie in the Window"

Moe: Pretty much if it moves, you can bet on it.
Homer: What about the Detroit Lions?
Moe: Hey, lay off Detroit. Them people is livin' in Mad Max times.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nelson: My mom ran off with my birthday clown!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Pigeon Owner: He's a homing pigeon. He comes home. Unless you wanna spring for a limo.
 • Rating: Unrated

Danica Patrick: I'm contractually obligated by my sponsors to appear in random fans' fantasies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 22 Episode 6: "The Fool Monty"

Smithers: I'm so happy I could hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: he will do my bidding... at that fantasy football auction and anything else my limited imagination can come up with.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "The Simpsons" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!