The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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Season: 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 5 4 3 2 1

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 22 Episode 4: "Treehouse of Horror XXI"

Bart: I'll be the demon. You be the thimble.
Milhouse: Aw, I'm always the thimble.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Homer: They should call this one recipe for murder.
Marge: What do you mean "this one?"
Homer: Never mind.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dracula: His blood! It's full of cholesterol!
Homer: And not the good kind.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Edmund: Let's move between the trees the way a bat does: by jumping.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Homer: She just wanted to ride bikes through New England, but those seats hurt my ass.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Edmund: You have beautiful eyes.
Lisa: They're just dots in circles.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Otto: Why is there a steering wheel in my bedroom?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Bart: What was that lesson I learned from video games? Oh yeah. Kill, kill, kill!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sideshow Mel: At least the cup is lined with felt.
Moe: Hey Mr. Positive, shut the hell up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Monopoly Guy: There was a bank error in my favor and I'm spending it all on Oriental Avenue prostitutes.
 • Rating: Unrated
Milhouse: Satan's path?
Bart: It's gotta be good if Satan put his name on it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 22 Episode 3: "MoneyBart"

Homer: Sorry Marge. I gotta call bullcrap on that one. The '69 Mets will live on forever, but you think anybody cares about Ron Swoboda's wife and kids? Not me, and I assume not Ron Swoboda.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Bill James: I made baseball as much fun as doing your taxes!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Moe: Why did I advertise my drinks specials in "Scientific American?"
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Sports Announcer: It's a triumph of number-crunching over the human spirit.
 • Rating: Unrated
Nelson: She can do the kind of math that has letters!
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Lisa: You made me love baseball. Not as a collection of numbers, but as an unpredictable, passionate game, beaten in excitement only by every other sport.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Milhouse: how about a bench warmer who's afraid of puppets?
 • Rating: Unrated
Lisa: Ralph can't play because he's too juiced.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Homer: Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

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Season: 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 22 Quotes: 203
Total The Simpsons Quotes: 3302
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