Homer: Marge, I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of travelling acrobats!
Marge: I don't think you've thought this through...

If you were seventeen, we'd be rich, but nooo...you had to be ten!

Homer

(Answers phone) Uh, no you've got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.

Wiggum

Bart: Oh, it's all my fault! I called him a dumb dog!
Homer: Oh, he's gone and he's never coming back...wait, there he is!...no, that's a horse.

Lisa: Poor Santa's Little Helper, I'm starting to think we'll never see him again!
Homer: That was his dish, and that was his leash...and that's where he took a whizz on the rug.

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense, dogs are idiots. Think about it Smithers, if I came into your room and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: Umm...if you did it, sir?

Smithers: Wanna buy some cookies, wanna buy some cookies?
(Santa's Little Helper runs up to Smithers and greets him)
Burns: If that were a real girl scout, I would have been bothered by now!

Marge: Even if he has passed on, there's no reason to cry. Remember Doggie Heaven?
Homer: Oh, Marge, there is no such place!
Marge: (Clears throat, indicating Bart and Lisa)
Homer: Or, to put it another way, there is.

Bart, I need some lucky numbers, fast, how old are you? Uh huh, and what's your birthday?...No kidding, and what's Lisa's birthday? What, you don't know your sister's birthday, what kind of brother are you?

Homer

Well neighbor, I see you've got your running shoes on, that's a good thing!....Smithers, release the hounds.
(Flanders runs and screams like a litle girl)

Burns

Bart: I'm not giving up. I don't care if I have to knock on every door in this two-bit town. I'm going to find my dog!
Homer: And I'll be right here watching TV!

Marge: Well, we lost the money, but at least we still have each other.
Grampa: Hey, the dog's dead.

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!

Homer

Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?
Todd: Hell no.
(Everyone gasps)
Maude: What did you say?
Todd: I said I don't want any damn vegetables.
Ned: Alright, that is it young man. No bible stories for you tonight.
(Todd runs to his room crying)
Maude: Weren't you a little hard on him?
Ned: Well, you knew I had a temper when you married me.