The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 3 Episode 14: "Lisa the Greek"

"Smooth" Jimmy Apollo: Well, when you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time.
Homer: (yelling at the television set) Why didn't you say that before?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Adult Lisa: Listen mister, I've been gambling since I was eight and I've been hocking jewelry since I was twelve!
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: How's the game going?
Bart: "You hate dad" is up by a touchdown.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Homer, those were very thoughtful presents, but you have to tell me where you got the money from.
Homer: All right, Marge, I'll tell you, but first you have to promise you will not get mad.
Marge: I promise I will get mad, because I always do when you make me promise I won't.
Homer: All right, if you must know. Lisa and I have been gambling on pro football.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: You promised you wouldn't get mad!
Marge: I did not! She's an eight year old girl!
Homer: Marge, she never loses. Aren't parents supposed to encourage their kids whenever they show talent?
Marge: But gambling is illegal.
Homer: Oh, only in 48 states. Besides, it's a victim less crime. The only victim is Moe!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: You see, Lisa, your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Uh, somewhere in the back.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Dad, you must have bought me every Malibu Stacy accessory there is!
Homer: Not quite. They were out of Malibu Stacy lunar rovers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 13: "Radio Bart"

Lisa: Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present?
Homer: Here you go.
Lisa: (Counts the money) Dad, this is $110!
Homer: Oh, sorry. (Gives her the whole wallet)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Volunteers offer to help Marge and Homer with Bart's predicament in the well.)
Falcon Man: Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch.
(The falcon is released and flies away) I don't think he's coming back.
Sea Captain: With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I'll land your boy. And I'll clean him for free.
Professor Frink: Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen, so that future generations can rescue him.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chief Wiggum: I'm afraid we've got a budget problem, Marge. Your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he had done it at the beginning of the fiscal year, no problemo.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest.
Sting: Not while one of my fans need me.
Marge: Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums.
Homer: Shhhh. Marge, he's a good digger!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: That little Timmy is a real hero.
Lisa: What makes him a hero dad?
Homer: Well he fell down the well and ... can't get out.
Lisa: How does that make him a hero?
Homer: Well, it's more than you did!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: I'm here for my free birthday sundae!
Guy: Eat it and get out!
 • Rating: Unrated

Wal-E-Weasel: Hey there, I hear it's your birthday, how old are you?
Bart: Well, I'm...
Wal-E-Weasel: That's great! Would you like us to sing you a special song?
Bart: Hell no!
Wal-E-Weasel: You've got it, ready Seor Beaverotti?
Beaverotti: I'm-a-ready! And a one, and a two!
Song: You're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday boy or girl!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Oh, there's only one can of beer left and it's Bart's!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Mmmm...chocolate!...D'oh! Mmmm...chocolate!...D'oh! Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Rod, Todd, this is God!
Rod: How did you get on the radio?
Bart: What do you mean "how did I get on the radio?" I created the universe, stupid kid.
Todd: Forgive my brother, we believe you!
Bart: Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you! (bumps) laterha, ha, ha!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Willy: Outta my way! Look out ya horse's ass!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Look, I'll level with you; there is no Timmy 'O Toole, it was just a prank I was playing on everybody.
Lou: Well you sure fooled us, kid.
Eddie: Hey I've got an idea for a prank. Let's go home and go to sleep. He-he-he.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: It's not our fault, we didn't want the boy, he was an accident!
Marge: Homer!!!
Homer: Um, could you edit that last part out?
Kent: Mr. Simpson, we're live coast to coast!
Homer: D'oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

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