The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Homer: I got you a gig on TV.
Lurleen: Oh Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
Homer: Hey!! Oh, you meant that as a compliment.

Much as I hate that man right now, you gotta love that suit.

Bart

Homer: I'm going now, and I don't know when you'll see me again
(he drives off, then comes back to drop Maggie off)
Lisa: I guess that executive stress ball we got him for Christmas isn't working.

Lurleen: My name's Lurleen Lumpkin.
Homer: That's a pretty name.
Lurleen: Oh, you think so?
Homer: Maybe. I'm not sure. I forgot it.

Homer: I've heard how this ends, it turns out the secret code was the same nursery rhyme he told his daughter!
Audience: Oooh!
Homer: Hey, it's pretty obvious if you think about it!
Marge: Oh shut up Homer, no one wants to hear what you think!
Audience: Yeah! *applause*

Homer: Is there any room in that bed for a dag-burn fool?
Marge: Always has been.

Marge, let's end this feudin' and a fussin' and get down to some lovin'.

Homer

(on a mechanical bull) Ach! How come no one else's chair is doin' this?!

Willy

They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass army guy.

Homer

(Answers phone) Uh, no you've got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.

Wiggum

What makes a man endanger his job, and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?

Mr. Burns

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense, dogs are idiots. Think about it Smithers, if I came into your room and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: Umm...if you did it, sir?

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 489 in total

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

Miss Hoover: Now put paste on your paper. Ralph, are you eating your paste?
Ralph Wiggum: (Gluestick poking out of his mouth) No, Miss. Hoover.

Principle Skinner: Oh, licking envelopes can be fun! All you have to do is make a game of it.
Bart: What kind of game?
Principle Skinner: Well, for example, you could see how many you could lick in an hour, then try to break that record.
Bart: Sounds like a pretty crappy game to me.
Principle Skinner: Yes, well... Get started.