The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Quotes
This is Coma - WKOMA, restful, easy listening. Coming up next, a super set of songs about clouds.
Radio
I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such movies as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die" and "Gladys the Groovy Mule." But today you'll see me in my greatest role - your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo!
Troy
Come on kids! Time to rub Aunt Patty's feet!
Selma
(Bart and Lisa shudder)
Marge: Thanks again for taking the children while I'm away.
Selma: Don't worry yourself.
Patty: We've got six months of maternity leave we're never going to use anyway.
Radio: It's time for another Bill and Marty Classic Prank Call!
Bill: Hello is this Mr. Chester Sherman?
Chester: Yes.
Bill: Sir your wife is dead!
Chester: Oh...god, no!
Bill: That's right, she just walked through a plate glass window, there's blood everywhere!
Chester: But...but I just talked to her (starts crying)
Bill/Marty: (Laughs)
Uh, mom, could you loosen my blanket a little? Dad tucked me in too tight and it's cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Lisa
Waiter: Hello, I'm Marco, and I'll be your waiter.
Homer: Hello, I'm Homer and I'll be your customer!
Waiter: Hmmhaven't heard that one before.
Lovejoy: Well, I'm glad some people could resist the lure of the big game.
Guy: Oh my god, I forgot the game!
Moe: I'm sorry Homer, you can't take any more of my money, I'm out of the bookie business.
Barney: But Moe, you've been taking bets all
Moe: Hey Barney, how bout a free beer!
Barney: Wow!
Homer: Don't worry, Moe, I'm not betting.
Moe: What!? Gimmie that.
Barney: Ooow!
Homer: Boy, I know you're gonna like your present.
Bart's Present: Shuddup, shuddup, kiss my butt, shuddup, go to hell, go to hell!
Bart: Dad, I promise I'll never get tired of this.
Lisa: How's the game going?
Bart: "You hate dad" is up by a touchdown.
Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!
