The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes (Page 18)

Season 3 Episode 7: "Treehouse of Horror II"

Smithers: (Over P.A.) Attention Homer Simpson. Attention Homer Simpson.
(Homer is still dozing at his post)
Smithers: Wake up, Homer! (Homer awakens)
Smithers: You're fired.
Homer: For what?
Smithers: For sleeping on the job.
Homer: How'd you know I was sleeping?
Smithers: We've been watching you on the surveillance camera.
Homer: Camera? (Spots the camera) D'oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Hey, If you don't like it, go to Russia!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: That Monkeys Paw is going to make our dreams come true!
Maggie: suck
Lisa: Oh no! Maggie made a wish! (the family hear a car horn)
Homer: Oooh! A luxury car! Good Maggie!
Marge: (someone's at the door, she opens it) Ooh, a new pacifier.
(The car drives off)
Homer: D'oh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: No more fooling around, paw, I wish for The Simpsons to be rich and famous!
Homer: Now you're talking!
Lisa: Yaaaay!
Marge: My purse just exploded!
Homer: Come on everybody, we're going to the fanciest restaurant in town!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: I wish for world peace!
Homer: Lisa that was very selfish of you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: Bart, Bart! I had a bad dream; can I sleep in your bed?
Bart: No!
Lisa: I'll give you a candy necklace...
Bart: Climb aboard.
 • Rating: Unrated

Krusty: (Laughs weakly) Well, we're still on... three hundred and forty- six consecutive hours, and all because of one little boy who--Who won't let me stop! (Delirious) Okay, now let's go and see if Sideshow Mel has any more of those legal over-the-counter wakeup drugs of his.
Audience: Yaaaaaay!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa/Bart: Mom, dad!
Marge: My goodness what's wrong?
Bart: We both had nightmares!
Lisa: Can we sleep with you?
Homer: Are you both toilet trained?
Lisa: Yes!
Homer: Oh okay then...
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Smithers: It's the man in the bag sir; I think he's still alive!
(Mr. Burns beats the bag with a shovel.)
Mr. Burns: Bad corpse, bad corpse! Stop scaring Smithers! Satisfied?
Smithers: Thank you, sir.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: It's your father, he's missing.
Bart: Dad's missing? Get outta here!
Marge: He's been gone for two days!
Lisa: What do you know, she's right!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: Will you quit your complaining!
Smithers: Sir, You know what this means? He is alive.
Mr. Burns: Oh, you're right Smithers; I guess I owe you a Coke.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Hello, everyone. Before last year's Halloween show, I warned you not to let your children watch. But you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse. It's scarier, more violent, and I think they snuck in some bad language, too. So please, tuck in your children and-- (sighing) --well, if you didn't listen to me last time, you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares.
Bart: Oh yeah, everybody in the family is going to have bad nightmares tonight, ha!
Lisa: Oh yeah, three bad nightmares.
Homer: I'd like to see that! Heh heh heh!
 • Rating: Unrated

Vendor: Sir, I must strongly advise you: Do not purchase this. Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. I, myself, was once president of Algeria.
Homer: Come on, pal, I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Woman #1: If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons, I swear, I'm going to scream.
Woman #2: At first they were cute and funny, but now they are just annoying.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Come to think of it, the guy that sold me this thing did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colorful.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: He gets it from your side of the family, you know. No monsters on my side.
 • Rating: Unrated

Otto: Hey, this is fun, isn't it! We're gonna die, aren't we!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Krabappel: Well, class the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by... ''some guy.'' And our country isn't called America any more. It's Bonerland.
 • Rating: Unrated

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