The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 5 Episode 16: "Homer Loves Flanders"

Homer: If anyone can pull it off, it's Stan "The Boy" Taylor.
Crowd: Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one will.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer throws a picture into the garbage)
Marge: Homer, that's our wedding photo!
Homer: Marge, quit living in the past.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. (they go to Moe's) Hey, everyone.
Barney: Hey.
Homer: I'd like to introduce Ned Flanders, my best friend.
Moe: Hey, I don't want no one in here with their "evils of alcohol" rap.
Ned: Wait a second: you're the man at the hospital who reads to sick children.
Moe: (grabs Ned) If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Honey, I'm so glad you're ho--
Homer: Can't talk, seeing Flanders. Later, sex.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Homey, I'm very proud of you, but don't you think you're spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too.
Homer: Oh, of course you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.
Marge: That was you!
Homer: Love, Marge. Don't hate... love.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Dad and Ned Flanders friends? Hah! What's next? A's on Bart's report card?
(She, Marge and Bart laugh together)
Bart: (Stops laughing) Hey!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 15: "Deep Space Homer"

Homer: (on the phone) Hello, is this President Clinton? Good. I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it would be you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: You know Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions: first I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.
Homer: Who's doing what now?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

NASA Man: Gentlemen, you've both worked very hard, and in a way you're both winners. But in another, more accurate way, Barney is the winner.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ant #1: Protect the queen!
Ant #2: Which one's the queen?
Ant #1: I'm the queen.
Ant #2: No you're not.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Wow, former president James Taylor.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kent Brockman: The spacecraft has apparently been taken over "conquered" if you will by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain. There is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Union rule 26. "Every employee must win 'Worker of the Week' at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity, or rank odor." Heh heh heh heh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Countdown at NASA: Three... two... one... make rocket go now!
 • Rating: Unrated

James Taylor: (singing) Sweet dreams and flying machines, in pieces on the ground. Oops. Uh, sweet dreams and flying machines, flying safely through the air.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!
 • Rating: Unrated

TV Announcer: (after the Itchy and Scratchy episode) VIEWER ADVISORY: The preceding program contained scenes of extreme violence and should not have been viewed by young children.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Wow. My dad an astronaut. I feel so full of ... what's the opposite of shame?
Marge: Pride?
Bart: No, not that far from shame.
Homer: Less shame?
Bart: Yeah.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!
(Homer turns on the TV)
Man on TV: (pointing and laughing uncontrollably) Ha, ha, you stupid--
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Well, here I am, right on time. I don't see Barney "Let's crash the rocket into the White House and kill the President" Gumble...
 • Rating: Unrated

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