Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 11: "Dead from the Waist Down" Quotes
Jake: I saw this video called "Topless Co-eds of the Big Ten" and I decided I had to go to college.
Alan: You expect me to pay $30,000-$40,000 a year so you can meet drunk girls who will lift their shirts?
Jake: Yes, please.
Alan: Charlie, do you have any idea how bad you're making me look?
Charlie: That's not me. It's genetics and barber school haircuts.
Courtney: Charlie, you shouldn't have!
Charlie: Well, you've done a lot of things for me you shouldn't have.
Alan: It was like I was in a dream and my hands belonged to someone else.
Charlie: I have that one all the time. Except in mine, the hands do belong to someone else.
Diamonds get you skull in the backseat of a limo. Pottery Barny won't get you dry humped in the back of a city bus.
Charlie
Berta: I also found a half written suicide note in your brother's handwriting. Should I be nervous?
Charlie: You mean that he won't get through with it?
