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Chelsea: I should never have let you go.
Charlie: Sometimes you can't appreciate what you got until you go to Mexico and don't have sex with a momma's boy.
- Permalink: I should never have let you go. Sometimes you can't appreciate...
Charlie: What is that?
Alan: A portable massage table.
Charlie: So what are you giving rub and tugs on the pier now?
- Permalink: What is that? A portable massage table. So what are you givi...
Alan: Let me get this one.
Charlie: Really? You're not going for the world record?
Alan: What are you talking about?
Charlie: 1647 meals in a row where you haven't taken your stupid velcro wallet.
Alan: You were counting?
Charlie: Was I close?
- Permalink: Let me get this one. Really? You're not going for the world re...
Charlie: Why'd you change your friggin hair?
Alan: My girlfriend asked me to.
Charlie: If your new girlfriend asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?
Alan: If she put her tongue in my mouth while she asked me...
Charlie: I can't blame you. I once bought a woman a car for the same reason.
Alan: She put her tongue in your mouth?
Charlie: Sure. Let's say mouth.
- Permalink: Why'd you change your friggin hair? My girlfriend asked me to....