Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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(To Charlie and Jake) Stop it, the both of you! There will be no puking. We are going to stay, congratulate the happy couple, mingle a little bit, and then I am going to fake a migraine.

Alan

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Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 9 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 9 Quotes

Charlie: So, where do they put the engine in these things?
Courtney: Where it belongs... in the rear.

Berta: Is your brother still in bed with his sister?
Alan: Step-sister... to be... and yes.