Michael: [looking at hotel bed under black light] Whoa, what are all those stains?
Dwight: Blood, urine or semen.
Michael: Oh god, I hope it's urine.

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The Office Season 3 Episode 2 Quotes

Dwight: (sees Jerome Bettis) Why do they call him The Bus?
Michael: Because he's afraid to fly.

Jan: I guess I underestimated you.
Michael: Yeah, well, maybe next time, you will... estimate me.