On Valentine's Day, Lisa feels bad for Ralph and gives him a card. Ralph mistakes Lisa's pity for love and invites her to Krusty's 29th Anniversary Special. On national television, Ralph declares his love for Lisa and she publicly humiliates him. Back at school, in a President's Day play Lisa gets the role of Martha Washington opposite Ralph as George. She's scared she'll be humiliated again, but Ralph gives a good performance and the two decide to be just friends.
(Watching The Krusty Show)
Bart: I'd give anything to go to that show!
Homer: I'd sell my first-born son!
Homer: You'll do as you're told!
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Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him.
Homer: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
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