Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 18 Quotes

Charlie: Hey, what's your hurry? If she becomes a big TV star while you're still married, she'll have to pay you alimony.
Alan: Yeah! And if pigs start flying out of my rear end, we'll have free bacon for the rest of our lives.
Jake: I don't know if I'll eat that bacon

• Permalink: Hey, what's your hurry? If she becomes a big TV star while you'r...
• Added: September 22, 2009

Alan: Um, sweetie, do you remember why we split up?
Kandi: The big reason or all the little reasons? Cause there were a lot of little reasons, Alan.
Alan: I know.
Kandi: Like the way your toe nails grow all crazy.
Alan: Right. Got it.
Kandi: And your ear hair and your nose hair. And that one long hair on your back, yuck!

• Permalink: Um, sweetie, do you remember why we split up? The big reason o...
• Added: September 22, 2009