Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXBrian Griffin Quotes
Lois: Ewww, What's that smell?
Brian: It's either bad meat or good cheese...
Stewie: Well! Look at you there! Oh, you're a filthy girl, aren't you? Yees, yees, you're looking for a bad time, that's what you're after! Oh, you're a dirty flirt. You want it bad and you don't care who you get it from because you have no self-respect, and that gets you off, doesn't it? Aruff!
Lois: Stewie! Bad boy! That's Mommy's make-up. Oh, and you got it all over your father's favorite shirt. Now go to your room!
Brian: Wow. The evidence is really piling up.
Stewie: Make any joke you want. You know I look good
Brian: Insert rod support A into slot B.
Peter: That's what...
Brian: If you say "That's what she said" one more time, I swear I'm gonna pop you one
Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?
Peter: Um, if by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes
Stewie [imitating Brian]: I'm the dog! I'm well-read and have a diverse stock portfolio, but am not above eating grass clippings and regurgitating them on the small braided rug in front of the door.
Brian [imitating Stewie]: I'm a pompous little anti-Christ who will probably abandon my plans for world domination when I fall for a rough trick named Jim
Stewie: What are the stakes of this wager?
Brian: Why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: Excellent and if I win?
Brian: I wasn't betting, why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie: You're on!
Jasper: You like sex in the city?
Brian: I don't watch that show.
Jasper: I wasn't talking about the show. Ooh, I'm nasty! (Imitates foghorn) Someone put me out to sea!
Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up
Meg: Wow, Brian! Have you lost weight? You gotta tell me your secret!
Brian: Here's a hint: Put down the fork!
Brian: What are you doing here [at rehab]?
Peter: I'm on vacation. Oh, and if anyone asks, I'm also on smack
Brian: The real hero here is God: for blessing me with this nose, and a few other amazing appendages!
Joe: Say hello to our newest narc.
Quagmire: Oh, yeah? (to Brian) How good are you?
Brian: (Sniffs) You're back from Manila. You had lumpia for dinner. Then you made love to two Filipino women. (Sniffs) And a man.
Quagmire: You mean three Filipino women. (Brian stares blankly) NOOOOO!
