Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXChris Griffin Quotes
Chris: A sister! Who is it?
Herbert: Who do you think it is? Who's the only goddamn woman in the galaxy?
Chris: Leia...
Carter: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.
Chris: Oh yea? You and what lightning hands?
Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.
(Connie opens closet door revealing Chris and Meg making out, the stop look out outside, and at each other.)
Meg: Chris?
Chris: Meg?
(they both back away from each other, screaming.)
Meg: OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Chris: TRYING GRAB SOME BOOBS!
Meg: FROM YOUR SISTER?
Chris: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Meg: WELL, WHO DID THINK IT WAS?
Chris: SOME BITCH, WHO CARES!
Meg: UHH...OH MY GOD! AND WE DID SO MUCH!
Chris: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Meg WE'RE DISGUSTING! WE'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY!
(Bill Chilton, comes in in his tights)
Bill Chilton: Ahh.. maybe I can get on this.
Lois: Chris, have you been drinking?
Chris: Yes, have you been aging?
Well high school is like Lord of the Flies. It's like a social experiment. And I hear Canadian high schools are even worse!
Meg: Chris, look at what you did!
Chris: You mean look at what two black teenagers did when they stole Dad's bike...
Chris: Hey Meg! I'm going to jump that fire hydrant!
Meg: Chris don't! You're going to wreck Dad's bike!
Chris: Too late! I already narrowed my eyes!
How do I know which one to shoot? How do I know which one's the real dad??
Meg: I bet you don't even know what [Obama's] first name is!
Chris: I don't know... Mike?
Movie references.
Peter Griffin: Well, let's see Robot Chicken top this one.
Chris Griffin: Actually, I think they did a pretty good job with that already, Dad.
Peter Griffin: Well, I'll have to take your word for it. I don't watch Comedy Central.
Chris Griffin: It's on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, Dad. I'm pretty sure you know that.
Peter Griffin: I don't know that. I haven't seen that show in a while and I don't know that anyone else has.
Chris Griffin: Oh, I think plenty of people have. Their fans are pretty loyal to them.
Peter Griffin: Oh yeah? All forty-two of them?
Chris Griffin: I'm not gonna let you get to me this time, Dad. I'm not gonna let you get to me.
Peter Griffin: Well, maybe I got time for another story, then. It's called Without a Paddle.
Chris Griffin: F**k you, Dad!
