The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Homer Simpson Quotes
Homer: Men, our negative energy has been harnessed to help keep Springfield's borders secure from Ogdenvillians. But first, our group needs a name that evokes America's proud history of citizens rising up to defend our way of life.
Cletus: The Klan?
Homer: Well, there are no bad ideas, but let's keep trying.
Cletus: The Nazis?
Homer: Okay, you stop trying.
Homer: It's 4 am, you kids should have been in bed a half hour ago.
Lisa: We're watching the Nobel Prize announcement lives from Stockholm.
Homer: Ooh, the Nobies.
Princess Kemi: So, all these concubines belong to this one tyrant?
Homer: It's called The Bachelor.
(Homer is in the slaughterhouse.)
Female PA voice: You are now entering the Killing Zone.
Homer: Hey, that sounds like Tress MacNeille!
(lost in the corn maze)
Marge: Maybe we should split up.
Homer: Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this marriage!
Marge: No, no, I didn't mean--
Homer: Fine, you want out? Then go, I can make it on my own! Before I met you, I had friends and dreams!
Marge: I was talking about--
Homer: Oh, please take me back! (sobbing) The dating scene is a nightmare! I'm begging you!
Marge: I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze.
Homer: Deep down, I-- I guess I knew that.
Marge: Now, there must be a way out.
Homer: Of our marriage? I don't want to live! (runs off screaming)
Marge: (grumbles)
Homer: (offscreen) Hey, this maze is made of corn.
Wait, I finally get what you're saying. Fracking is great, but the only place it should ever happen is in other people's towns.
(Homer comments on the newspaper headline about Mr. Burns running for Governor.)
Homer: Well, he's got my vote.
Marge: Homer, we're a Mary Bailey family.
Homer: Mary Bailey isn't going to fire me if I don't vote for her. I'm for Monty Burns!
Lisa: Ooh, a political discussion at our table! I feel like a Kennedy.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Ahh, a sand horse, car of the desert.
Grampa: And I created an alcoholic hippo.
Homer: You never showed it to me!
Grampa: A stupid alcoholic hippo!
Bart: Aunt Selma has one hour to live!
Homer: Hey, down in front!
Homer: You're Darryl Strawberry?
Darryl: Yes.
Homer: You play right field?
Darryl: Yes.
Homer: I play right field too, so, are you better than me?
Darryl: Well, I've never met you, butyes.
