The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
(reading his poem)
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.
Lisa: Moe marginalized my contributions!
(Homer and Bart gasp. Lisa runs away sobbing.)
Homer: No one makes my daughter sob and run!
Bart: He ruined her first Wordloaf!
(Maggie spits out cereal letters that spell 'Don't forge')
Homer: Don't forge? Don't forge what?
(Maggie spits out a T)
Homer: Ohhh, don't forget! Don't forget what??
Sergeant: Gentleman, I'm going to be frank; never before has the ARMY accepted recruits with such low test scores.
Homer: That's an odd way to start handing out medals!
(Homer peers out of a manhole cover at oncoming tanks)
Homer: Bring it on chumps!
(Tank runs over the manhole he's peeping out of)
Homer: Oooh! Fingers, fingers fingers!
Homer: How would you like to be stacked naked in a pile and while a hillbilly girl points and laughs at you?
Cletus: That was our last Christmas card!
Hey baby. Ya' like obstacle courses?
Marge: Homer our son joined the army!
Homer: Yeah big deal. By the time Bart is eighteen we're gonna control the world We're China right?
(In "Married to the Blob," as Homer wanders through Springfield looking for things to eat, he happens upon a beach party full of teenagers.)
Homer: Ooh, teenagers! Mmm! (Gurgles and drools) No, today's teens have enough problems without me eating them!
Teenage Girl: Barbeque sauce fight!
(All the teens start squirting each other with Barbeque sauce, Squeaky Voiced Teen gets hit with some sauce and falls into a bonfire.)
Squeaky Voiced Teen: (Screaming) The flames are sealing in my juices!
Homer: I'll savor you!
(Homer grabs Squeaky Voiced Teen and takes a bite out of him.)
Homer: Mmm! Extra-virgin. (Gurgles and drools)
(Homer starts stuffing Squeaky Voiced Teen into his mouth.)
Squeaky Voiced Teen: (Screaming) Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
Homer: No!
(Homer swallows Squeaky Voiced Teen.)
(In "Married to the Blob," after eating the green goo, Homer's stomach rumbles and he wakes up in a zombie-like trance.)
Homer: Must eat, then poop, then eat some more, then eat while pooping.
(Homer heads down to the kitchen and raids the refrigerator.)
Homer: (Panting) Still hungry.
(Bart stumbles into the kitchen to see what is going on.)
Bart: Dad?
Homer: Son, let me have a lick at you.
(Homer stuffs Bart into his mouth and tries to eat him. Marge walks into the kitchen and clicks on the light.)
Marge: Homer! You won't eat my stuffed peppers, but you'll eat our son?
Homer: Nag, nag, nag.
(Homer pulls a squirming Bart out of his mouth.)
(In "Married to the Blob," a meteorite crashes in the Simpson family back yard and splits open, revealing a glowing green goo.)
Homer: Whoo! A space marshmallow!
(Homer plucks the goo with a stick and tries to eat the goo, which keeps trying to avoid Homer's mouth.)
Homer: Uh? Where do you think you're going?
Lisa: Dad, no! It could teach us the secret of interstellar travel.
Homer: If he's so smart, how come he can't stay out of my mouth?
(The goo struggles in Homer's mouth before finally being swallowed.)
Marge: How could you eat that goo? You don't know what galaxy it's from.
Homer: Marge, I ate it. It's over.
(The goo tries to seep out of Homer's nose.)
Homer: Whoa! Oh, no, you don't!
(A determined Homer repeatedly snorts the goo back into his nose.)
Homer: If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!
Radio: Astronomers say the ominous capsules originated from Earth's closest neighbor.
Homer: Flanders?
Radio: Mars!
