Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Lana Kane Quotes
Lana: Right about here is the part where I hold you responsible.
Archer: Oh my God, the burden.
Archer: Oh my God!
Lana: What?
Archer: Michael Gray - was Billy Batson on Shazam!
Malory: Have the porter bring me a cobb salad.
Lana: Before or after we capture the dangerous terrorist?
Malory: Before.
Archer: I realize now that I was mistaken
Lana: Aww, what a scary new feeling for you.
Lana: I think Conway is totally up to something.
Archer: Duh! You think I'm an idiot? I know he wants to marry mother and have her cut me out of the will. Which is why I'm going to kill him.
Barry: Just so I understand you, your theory is that the truck backfired, whereas your theory is fireworks.
Enforcer: They are Chinese.
Barry: What, in Christ Foo Yong, could they be celebrating?
Somehow we're in a crazy universe where bonuses are based on merit and not whether you crawled out of your mother.
Sterling Archer, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Abigene.
Lana: Dude, this van is like rolling probable cause.
Malory: All ashore from the S.S. Date Rape.
Ray: Toot, Toot!
Archer: What have I been doing?
Lana: Chain smoking joints the size of tampons.
Archer: Eww.
Lana: Just a figure of speech.
Archer: Still, eww.
Archer: Lana, I'm in love with you.
Lana: You are also shitfaced.
Archer: I can be both.
Lana: He's attacked nuclear power plants, hydroelectric dams, and whaling ships.
Archer: Whaling ships? What he's got something against clean burning lamp oil?
