The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Mr. Burns Quotes
And that's where we came in. Now, without further ado, here's what happened next. But first, I'll daydream about a sport utility vehicle, a crispy chicken sandwich, and a wonderful blue pill!
Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...
Mr. Burns: Hello, Simpson. My lawyers and I were in the neighborhood and thought we'd stop by.
Marge: Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?
(The lawyers confer with each other)
Lawyer: Yes, he would.
Mr. Burns: What, how dare you disturb us during nap time!
Lady: We're from the Nuclear Regulatory Comission. This is a surprise test of worker competence.
Mr. Burns: There must be some mistake. Weee... make cookies here. Mr. Burns old fashion good time, extra chewy..
Man: Get the axe!
(During the nuclear meltdown, Mr. Burns has locked Smithers out of the escape pod)
Smithers: For the love of God, sir! There are two seats!
Mr. Burns: I like to put my feet up.
Man: Umm, excuse me. What are you doing?
Mr. Burns: I'm giving you the beating of your life!
Smithers, dismember the corpse and send his widow a corsage.
Mr. Burns: Ah, yes. Naturally, I can't pay you much of a reward because I'm strapped for cash.
(The ceiling above gives way; money and jewels pour down on him.)
Mr. Burns: As you can see, this old place is falling apart. But I'm sure we can come to an understanding.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm so happy. Something amazing has happened, I'm actually happy. Take a note! From now on, I'm only going to be good and kind to everyone.
Smithers: I'm sorry sir, I don't have a pencil.
Mr. Burns: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it.
Smithers: On another topic, the preparations for your birthday have begun.
Mr. Burns: I won't get what I really want.
Smithers: No one does.
(He imagines Mr. Burns appearing half-naked out of a cake and singing happy birthday to him.)
(In 1,000,000 A.D. Mr. Burns, his body that of a robot, comes across Bobo)
Mr. Burns: Bobo, I know I say this every century, but I'll never leave you behind again.
(He runs off with Bobo, followed by Smithers, whose body is that of a robot dog)
Smithers: Wait for me, sir! Ruff!
Smithers: You want your bear Bobo, don't you?
Mr. Burns: Liar! I'll give you the thrashing of a lifetime...nggg...nyeeh. Resistance is futile!
