Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPeter Griffin Quotes
Well last night me and Brian got drunk and ate the turkey, but before you get mad we also ate the salad.
I'm the guy who killed your bodyguard.
"What if Bono had been too afraid to wear sunglasses…then nobody would know about Africa!"
"I used to love Duff when I was younger, but I haven't even had it in like 13 years."
Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Playing Unga Bunga. It's the championship.
Stewie: Go away! This is why Zillow estimates our house at $4.
I'm glad we're staying together. Honestly, I don't know what I would do on my own. Like, I literally have no idea where food comes from. Is it that guy? Is he the food man?
Did you see that? My dog had a gun.
Lois: Peter, we gotta go talk to Donna.
Peter: Alright, but you need to cool down first, Lois. Find a way to channel your anger. What I do is throw a shot put into a crowd and make it look like an accident.
Peter: I'm having an affair.
Lois: That's ridiculous.
Peter: It's not ridiculous, it's Cybill Shepherd. She's attainable for a guy like me now.
Hey, Lois! Guess who made 15 baskets at the county fair? Some kid we beat up! What a great day!
Meg: Dad, sometimes I wonder why you even had a family.
Peter: I don't know...I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you know, I got a mortgage, a kid, and a crappy job at a toy factory.
Meg: In the last election, you voted for Mighty Mouse.
Peter: Time to put the might mouse in the White House.
