South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralStan Marsh Quotes
(After taking the Ritalin antidote)
Stan: Wait a minute! Phil Collins sucks ass!
Kyle: Yeah! what the hell were we thinking? Boooooo!
Chef: Hold on a second, you children want to go see Phil Collins?
Stan: Yes, his flowing melodies are really enjoyable to us.
Stan: Oh my God, we killed Kenny.
Kyle: We killed Kenny?
Stan: Yep, we killed Kenny. We're bastards.
(After Cartman has been released from jail)
Stan: Hey, Cartman's back!
(Clyde runs up and hugs Cartman then begins to weep)
Clyde: Oh thank you, thank you so much!
Cartman: Uh guys, what the hell's wrong with Clyde?
Cartman: Hey you guys.
Kyle: Hey, fatass. How's prison?
Cartman: Well, it sucks balls. Whattaya think?
Stan: Cartman, why the hell did you have to commit a hate crime?! We're gonna lose to girls because of you!
Kyle: Yeah! So you gotta bust out of here. So, we made you this cake. There's an ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
Cartman: What's that?
Kyle: Listen, aggot-fay. An ail-nay ile-fay so you can eak-bray out of ison-pray.
Stan: Yeah, you stupid umbass-day!
Cartman: I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but they don't let us take anything back to the cells from here.
Kyle: They on't-day?! Why the ell-hay ot-nay?! It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay to ake-bay this oddamned-gay ake-cay, and ow-nay we're otally-tay ewed-scray!
Stan: Get on the sled, fatass.
Clyde: For the last time I'm not fat GODDAMN IT!
(Clyde's voice changes and his eyes close tightly into an "X" like when Cartman's mad - realizing that he has just become shockingly like Cartman Clyde slams his hand over his mouth and his eyes bug out in shock/horror)
Pip: Lets hear it for Cartman's fat ass!
(Cartman throws a rock at Pip's temple)
Cartman: Do British people count as an ethnicity?
Stan: Nah.
Cartman: Sweet.
Stan: Sleds are for guys.
Cartman: Yeah, why don't you chicks go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something?
Token's dad: You boys have to go explain to the govenor why we should disban hate crime laws.
Kyle: Why can't you do it?
Token's dad: Because he won't listen to me.
Stan: Why not?
Token's dad: Because I'm black.
Cartman: You guys, you guys! Oh my god, seriously, you guys!
Stan: What the hell's wrong with Cartman?
Kyle: He's fat and stupid.
Loogie: Tell you what, how would you like to run the South Park tooth racket for me?
Stan: Oh. I dunno
(Loogie holds up a knife)
Loogie: It's that, or else I can cut off your penises.
Cartman: Hmm. Work for youHave my penis cut off. Work for youHave my penis cut off. Let's see
Kyle: Cartman!
Stan: Whoa! Mr. Hat and Mr. Mackey are fighting.
Mr. Mackey: I'm gonna kick your ass. M'kay?
(children cheering)
Ms. Crabtree: BE QUIET BACK THERE!
(children settle down)
Mr. Mackey: You may have won this time Mr. Hat.
