South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralStan Marsh Quotes
What's Arkansas? Is that a state?
Stan: I have it! I have the question. Now you have to answer me once and for all! How come I haven't gotten my period yet?!
(everyone is speechless)
God: My child, you are a boy. Boys do not get periods. That is only for girls. You're friends were bleeding a little bit out of their asses due to an acute colon infection, and you're friend Kyle simply lied about it.
Kyle: Hey, how'd he know that?!
God: You will hit puberty when the time is right, but you will never have a period because you are a man with titties.
The Dreidel Song:
KYLE: Ok, Ike, you're my little brother, so I have to teach you how to celebrate Hannukah. This is called a dreidel, and you spin it around and sing this song: I have a little dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it's dry and ready, with dreidel I shall play. Oh, dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
CARTMAN: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
KYLE: Oh, hey Cartman! We're playing dreidel, you wanna try?
CARTMAN: Sure! (Singing:) Here's a little dreidel, that's small and made of clay, but I'm not gonna play with it 'cuz dreidel's freaking gay!
KYLE: Hey! Shut your mouth fatass!
CARTMAN: Jews......play stupid games......Jews.....that's why they're lame!
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
STAN: Hey, whatcha doing? Oh, that Hannukah thing.
CARTMAN: It's SO amazing, you spin this little thing on the ground and it goes 'round and 'round, I could watch it all day.
STAN: Here, let me try (singing:) I'll try to make it spin, it fell, I'll try again.
(Stan repeats and Kyle starts singing at the same time as Stan's repeat.)
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
(Now Cartman starts singing with them)
CARTMAN: Jews.........play stupid games......Jews..........that's why they're lame!
SHEILA: Hello, boys.
KYLE: Hi, mom!
SHEILA: Oh, you're all playing dreidel, how precious. You know, dreidel's a time-honored tradition to the Hebrew culture.
CARTMAN: Yes, we know Ms. Broflovski, it's so very interesting.
KYLE's MOM: (singing:) Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win, keep spinning. (She repeats, Cartman starts again)
CARTMAN: Jews.......play stupid games.......Jews.......that's why they're lame!
KYLE: Oh, hi dad!
GERALD: Hello everybody, say, can I join in?
KYLE: Sure! (singing:) I have a little dreidel, that's small and made of clay, and when it's dry and ready with dreidel I shall- everybody!
(The next part is all sang at the same time)
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel, with dreidel I shall play.
STAN: I'll try to make it spin, it fell, ill try again.
SHEILA: Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win keep spinning.
CARTMAN: Jews......play stupid games........Jews that's why they're lame!
GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
(Everyone stops singing except Kyle's Dad)
GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
KYLE: Dad, we're singing about a dreidel.
GERALD: Oh.....sorry
SHEILA: We'll talk about this later Gerald!
(The next part is all sang at the same time)
STAN: I'll try to make it spin, it fell, I'll try again.
SHEILA: Now when you learn to make the dreidel spin, you know our people always win keep spinning.
CARTMAN: Jews......play stupid games........Jews that's why they're lame!
GERALD: Courtney Cox, I love you, you're so hot on that show.
KYLE: Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, dreidel dreidel dreidel...
EVERYONE: ...with dreidel I shall play!!!!!
Stan: Ready? 1, 2, 3, 4!
(Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny start playing the flutes and drum as they march. Cartman starts beating the drum.)
Cartman: Yeah! Do you like to rock?! I like to rock! Hello, Baltimore!
Kyle: Cartman, what the hell are you doing?!
Cartman: I'm playing the drum!(He continues to beat the drum.)
Kyle: You're not supposed to beat the drum, you hit it!
Cartman: You don't hit a drum! You gotta beat the (bleep) out of it! (He starts to beat the drum again.) Shut your pie-hole! I'll kick your ass, you (bleep) drum!
President Clinton: Boys, as president of the United States, I wanna commend you for stopping the rebel uprising.
Stan: Don't touch me.
Stan: (after Kenny was killed by a flare) Oh, my god! They killed Kenny!
Grandpa: You bastards!
Kyle: (to Grandpa) Hey!
Stan: You can't just show up to a Civil War re-enactment dressed up like General Lee, fatass.
Cartman: Oh really? I'm pretty sure I just did.
Cartman: Now I believe you guys are going to be my slaves for a month.
Kyle: You cheated Cartman, and the bet was that the South won the Civil War and the South still didn't win the Civil War, fat ass.
Stan: Yeah, too bad you're such a dumb ass in history or you would've known.
Cartman: I hate you guys; I hate you guys so much.
Stan: Give up, fatass! There's over a hundred National Guards down here.
Cartman: Suck my ass!
Federal Agent: Earlier this morning, an ethnic child was seen piloting an alien space craft over Chinese airspace.
Cartman: Cool!
Federal Agent: Cool?! That ship has enough plutonium on board to vaporise a small city. Is that "cool"?
Stan: Yeah.
Marklar Leader: I am Marklar, leader of the Marklar.
Stan: Uh, cool. My name is Stan and I'm the leader of Earth.
Marklar Leader: Marklar to you.
Stan: Cool!
Cartman: Ey! I'm the leader of Earth!
Stan: Screw you, Cartman! I called leader first!
Cartman: Well, you can call leader 'til your ass bleeds, but that doesn't make it true!
Stan: Maybe we'll come and visit sometime.
Cartman: Yeah, and maybe Jesse Jackson will be president.
