South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralStan Marsh Quotes
Stan: Oh, my god! Fonics monkey killed Kenny!
Cartman: You're damn right, he did.
Stan: Shut up, Cartman!
Cartman: You shut up, butt-hole! (Hit's Stan)
Stan: You shut up, gay-wad! (Hit's Cartman)
Cartman: You shut up, ass-logger! (Hit's Stan)
Mark: Oh my goodness. Are you two enemies?
Stan: No... we're friends.
Mark: Strange friends would call each other names and fight.
Chinpokomon Executive: You have such a large penis.
Sharon Marsh: What??
Chinpokomon Executive: Your penis, wow!
(Mr. Hosik slaps his executive and pushes him aside)
Mr. Hosik: What he means is all MEN in this town have very large penis.
Sharon Marsh: Can't you see what's happening? They're just using their talk to distract you! He doesn't really have a small penis!
(Mr. Hosik pulls down his pants, everybody looks shocked)
Sharon Marsh: Oh.
Stan: Dude! The video game just gave Kenny a seizure!
Cartman: Ah, sweet! This game's cool!
Mr. Garrison: Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up.
Sharon Marsh: Well I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town!
Voice: Hi Kyle.
Kyle: (hops back) Aaaah!
Cartman: (who's providing the voice) Have you been a good boy, Kyle? Have you been making Grandma proud?
Kyle: Dammit Cartman! That's not funny!
Stan: (chuckling) Eh, eh! Yes it is.
Cartman: Heh heh, I'm sweet.
Kyle: Alright, alright, let's get this over with so we can put her back.
Stan: Okay, grab the sled.
DJ: Well here's some kids enjoying the Halloween haunt now. Hey boys, what do you think of cozy FM's Halloween haunt so far?
Stan: This one time, like eight months ago, I saw two guys kissing in a park. And that was the gayest thing I'd ever seen until I saw the cozy FM Halloween haunt.
(The kids are plotting to scare the 5th graders with a dead body.)
Cartman: Then where the hell are we gonna get a dead body?
Stan: We're gonna dig up Kyle's dead gramma!
Kyle: Yeah fat ass, we're gonna dig upDIG UP KYLE'S DEAD GRAMMA?!
Stan: (watching the news) Wait a minute.
(Stan looks out the window and sees ATF tanks and attack helicopters)
Reporter: There are choppers here along with several tanks...
Stan: Dude, that's this house. They think our parents were the religious cults.
Reporter: We've just receieve photos from the recon team of the actions inside the house, (they show the picture of Stan looking out the window) showing there are indeed innocent children trap inside. Those sick cult fanatic bastards!
Stan: DUDE!
Pip: Cheerio Stan, I do say, it's quite a nice surprise seeing you here.
Stan: Shut up Pip.
Pip: We were just playing a game called 'Whickershams and Degglers.' Do you want to play?
Stan: No!
Pip: I'm the head whicker nicker, and you are all little whickershams. We all sing 'The Merry Tune of Stratford' until I say 'Terah!' And then you all fall down laughing, and I join you as I find it funny too.
Pip: Are you sure you don't want to play Stan?
Stan: No!
Dougie: What are you. a sour puss?
Butters: You really ought play Stan, it's an awfully fun game. I've never been to England, but I bet the people are real nice. Are people nice in England Pip? I bet they are, huh? They got those big noses and all.
