Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFavorite Family Guy Quotes
What's the matter, Brian? Have you fallen and can't get up?
Peter
Brian: Quagmire? What are you doing here?
Quagmire: Oh, I have an all-access pass to anything sex related in this town.
Brian [about Fast and Furious movies]: So what's the plot?
Stewie: Oh. So you don't understand these movies.
I've been touched by greatness. I'll never watch this hand again. This is the best thing that happened to me since I became a wise-cracking, fourth wall breaking superhero.
Peter [after touching Boo Berry]
I hope he didn't get cancer all over the seat.
Stewie
Dr. Pritchfield: You seem to have a lot of opinions about things.
Stewie: Yeah, there are a lot of dicks.
After five minutes you think you know me?
Stewie
Quahog. What a pile of garbage.
Stewie
When I was in the orphanage, my Sunday school shoes were potatoes.
Dr. Pritchfield
Stewie: Brian, I did something awful.
Brian: Do you want to talk about it?
Stewie: No.
Sorry, got distracted. There are a lot of rats in London.
Watson
Stewie: So when do the strippers arrive?
Brian: 1952.