First, I'd like to not thank you for hiring me, because I just expect good things to happen to me without working for them.

Hammer

• Permalink: First, I'd like to not thank you for hiring me, because I just expect good things to happen...
• Rating: Unrated

Peter: What happened? All of a sudden I feel I know better than everyone else.
Hammer: That's because anytime anyone walks through a cloud of vape smoke, a millennial is born.

• Permalink: That's because anytime anyone walks through a cloud of vape smoke, a millennial is born.
• Rating: Unrated

Remember, Peter, never walk anywhere when you can ride something weird instead.

Hammer

• Permalink: Remember, Peter, never walk anywhere when you can ride something weird instead.
• Rating: Unrated

You don't know what that penis meant to me. We did everything together. Everything.

Quagmire

• Permalink: You don't know what that penis meant to me. We did everything together. Everything.
• Rating: Unrated

C'mon, Quagmire, it's not impossible. You want impossible? Try eating local pizza with a guy from New York.

Peter

• Permalink: C'mon, Quagmire, it's not impossible. You want impossible? Try eating local pizza with a guy...
• Rating: Unrated

Dad, I don't know how to thank you. You've given me the greatest gift I could have ever asked for.

Quagmire

• Permalink: Dad, I don't know how to thank you. You've given me the greatest gift I could have ever asked...
• Rating: Unrated

Peter: God?
God: Yes, but no Trump questions.
Peter. Okay, but I have nothing else to ask you.

• Permalink: Yes, but no Trump questions. Peter. Okay, but I have nothing else to ask you.
• Rating: Unrated