Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFavorite Family Guy Quotes
I hope no one from the train is on this boat. I'm wearing the same outfit.
Stewie
Stewie: We made it just in time, and I was able to fool you because I am a master of disguise.
Brian: It seems like you're just good at dressing like a woman.
You've never seen a homeless vet, and people are being really nice to me. They open doors for you.
Peter
The stock market is a sucker's bet like chasing your tail.
Brian
For 60 years, Sundays have meant God, football and Family Guy. And later, to a lesser degree, The Simpsons.
Peter
If you want to have fun with your girl try dancing. It's fun and good for your health.
Peter
Even in the 50s you're a scumbag.
Stewie
If God would have wanted women in the workplace he would have made them alcoholics.
Peter
Peter: Lois, why is my son playing with a vacuum like a girl? Here. Play with this discus and javelin. Then you can grow up like a man like track and field star Bruce Jenner -- the greatest man in the world. Maybe you'll even end up on a box of Wheaties.
Stewie: Didn't these used to have nuts in 'em?
What the hell have you been complaining about?
Stewie
I'm off to get you a job, a girlfriend, and onto the road less scummy.
Stewie
Peter, that's the problem with kids today. They have no attention span.
Quagmire