So you're kissing now? Right. Maybe that explains why you won't have sex with me.

Dan: Okay, Monkey. Surprise. You get to eat chocolate cake in bed tonight.
Trixie: Why?
Dan: Does it matter?

I hate it when people fight over me.

Trixie

I'd really hate to be in your head.

Chloe

Dan: You don't care who you piss off, do you?
Lucifer: Not in the slightest, no.

I'm stuck in a place I don't belong, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I need to figure out how to be more normal.

Maze

Honey, your new friend is so delicious.

Penelope Decker

Don't let your daddy issues cloud your judgment.

Chloe

At first I didn't understand why God put you in my path, but then it hit me. Maybe he put me in yours.

Father Frank

Lucifer: The Devil friends witha priest? It's absurd.
Chloe: It's absurdly cute.

Patience is not one of my virtues.

Amenadiel

For your penance? Ten bloody mary's and a good shag.

Lucifer Quotes

Chloe: I know how fans can get obsessed with their idols.
Lucifer: Yes, and with their boobs. Like after you did Hot Tub High School, Detective.

I'm like walking heroin...very habit forming. It never ends well.

Lucifer