New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXFavorite New Girl Quotes
Jess: I had the best sex of my life last night.
Nick: Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.
Jess: It wasn't. It was me. Having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird that I saw my grandparents, came back down. I became a werewolf, I scared some teenagers. I came back into my body. Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie and that I'm a dancer and/or something involving puppets.
We can form an Ocean's Twelve. I will be Brad Pitt. You will be the crafty Asian who does the flippies.
Schmidt
Schmidt: I brought you a gift. I hope you appreciate that I have kept eye contact with you this whole time and made no reference of the fact that you are basically naked. ... I found this place on 3rd Street where you can design your own perfume: Base notes of cocoa because of your brown...ness, sea salt because it kind of sounds like "Cece," and sandalwood - Sandalwood, always up to no good!
I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows.
Jess
Nick: Just stop being so nice!
Jess: Your mother's being so nice.
Nick: Slam on my mother.
Jess: Your mother's gonna slam on your mother.
I'm gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on!
Schmidt
CeCe: Make sure you use protection.
Schmidt: CeCe, she's a foreigner. What do you think I am? An idiot?
Winston, you better watch it, man, because I will take you down. I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy. Let's do this!
Schmidt
Schmidt's world is different than ours. They speak a different language. They shorten every word to one syllable. Last month, he went to a party called "Bros Before Hos on the Moon". What does that even mean!?
Nick
I'm the only guy in the office, of course I'm going to dress up like Santa. I like it. I get all this dirt on my coworkers. They get drunk, and they whisper what they want for Christmas in my ear, and I use that information to subtly undermine them and control them for the rest of the year.
Schmidt
I don't know the words!
Jess
I saw Nick's pipi. And his bubbles
Jess
