I want magic, is that so bad?

Nick

That's more like dork magic.

Nick

I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.

Schmidt

Nick has a crush on a girl who is completely out of his league.

Winston

You know I helped the lady give birth in the kitchen?

Winston

The baby is perfectly fine, but lets just say I did not do a good job.

Winston

That was painful Nick! That's like watching Cece make a bed.

Schmidt

Oh yeah this woman just made my not sexual to do list.

Winston

Nick, we're making sex.

Schmidt

It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut.

Nick

I've been chasing you for miles like a murderer.

Winston

I can't concentrate, it's filthy in here!

Schmidt

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

My whole life is you.

Schmidt