Superstore
Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBCSuperstore Quotes
Jonah: Well, why didn't you say anything?
Garrett: Because why bring something up just to make your friend feel bad?
Dina: Look, you're like the old paper coupons. You're kind of a nuisance, but arguably served a purpose, and now you're useless but...
Glenn: But?
Dina: Oh! Carrot Cake Oreos are back. That's fun
Well, I'd rather be a nobody than a couple of Impossible Burgers, 'cause all I'm seeing here is some imitation beef!
Sayid
Jonah: Okay, fine, but I'm not gonna apologize for caring, okay? You're an important person in my life, Garrett. A lot of men are scared to say things like that, but not me. I'll tell you exactly how much you mean to me to your face.
Garrett: Please don't.
Dina: Effective immediately, there will be no more talk about conspiracy theories.
Jonah: Well, there goes my afternoon.
Now you're listening to Marcus and Sandra? You guys are like the three stooges if Curly was Hawaiian. Well, actually, I don't know for a fact that he wasn't.
Dina
Jonah: You remember his fucking credit card number?!
Garrett: It's on the receipt.
Jonah: That... makes sense.
No more Gary. No more heaven; just more computers and demons!
Glenn
Dina: Zephra's asking that we no longer use the term "heavenly day."
Glenn: What?!
Dina: Yeah, there was a memo. They feel it's a little loaded.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, it's loaded. With kindness! It's the same thing as saying, "Have a nice day," or "Have a good day!"
Dina: Great. Then say one of those instead.
Glenn: To the customers?! I might as well give them the middle finger!
Dina: Now, we've noticed some of your masks are getting dingy; Cheyenne will be handing out new protective equipment.
Mateo: Based on her history, I wouldn't trust Cheyenne with protection.
Cheyenne: I may be a teen mom, but at least I don't look like someone put a Pixar character into a microwave.
Mateo: Well, you'd be DreamWorks, bitch.
Jonah: Well, there is this Chinese place that I've been wanting to try.
Glenn: Absolutely. They have plain white rice, though, right?
Jonah: They do.
Glenn: Then absolutely!
You were just being friendly, and I'm like this heteronormative bowl in a lesbian china shop.
Jonah
