Ted Lasso
Wednesdays on Apple TV+Ted Lasso Quotes
Where are we at with cloning these days, by the way? Them Scottish folks have been quiet on that front for a while, which means we gotta be close, right?
Do you know how hard it is to get grown men to learn choreography?
Keeley: Roy, if you died, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?
Roy: Go after bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Keeley, avenge me!
Dani: I hate these shoes so much, Jamie.
Jamie: I know, muchacho; cause remember, they ain't made for people like us. They're made for sheep. They're made for Muggles. They're made for t**ts.
Dani: When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell.
Jamie: Jesus, Dani.
Dani: Jesus has no place in the conversation of these damned shoes.
Deborah: What a chubby baby.
Rebecca: Congratulations, mother, you just fat shamed a baby to tears.
Beard: You know, if you weigh a person's body right after death, it's 21.3 grams lighter. Some say that's the weight of a soul.
Roy: Whoever figured that out clearly weighed someone, murdered them, then weighed them again. You live; you die; you're done. End of story. Good night.
There's someone in my life now who -- maybe it's chemicals, maybe it's pheromones -- I wanna be with her all her all the time. Is that love or do I just have a problem?
Beard
Beard is like the mailman. He always delivers and looks great in shorts.
Are you there God, it's me, Margaret's little boy, long time listener, first time caller.
Beard
Jeremy: Have you ever been to Vegas?
Baz: What's Ted like behind closed doors?
Paul: How do you cope knowing the universe is infinite but your consciousness ends at the same time?
Beard: I've been to Vegas many times. One night is good. Two nights is perfect. Three nights is too many. Ted is a man, just a man. And as for the fragility of life, I'm so glad someone finally asked because, yeah, I got a few thoughts.
The only nice thing you can say about Richmond today is Sam Obisanya's hair looks absolutely fantastic.
Arlo
I don't read the scouting reports you guys write. I've lied every time they've come up. They're boring, and I won't do it.
Roy
