Wouldn't it be funny if after all your years of hard work, I'm the one who makes the big scientific discovery?

Penny

Soup, sandwiches, and emasculation. Just like my mom used to make.

Leonard

Howard: See he's not wearing a tie.
Leonard: Well, he's a patent attorney. Maybe his tie is pending.

Are you suggesting a limited liability cooperation? Because I did not LLC that coming.

Sheldon

Is the fetus helping you? Because that's cheating.

Howard

Penny: Sheldon, did you draft the contract?
Sheldon: You bet I did.
Penny [to Amy]: You're gonna make out so hard tonight.

You're more than just my roommate. You're my partner.

Leonard

Bernadette: What kind of cake do you like?
Sheldon: My favorite is chocolate with strawberry frosting, three layers. And if there's writing on it, make sure it's not all caps. I don't want my dessert yelling at me.

Can we please drop this subject and pick a new one? I suggest, how thick can a soup get before it becomes a stew. The answer -- it may surprise you.

Sheldon

Penny: Wait a minute, you mention his birthday and he vanishes?
Leonard: Where's that information been this whole time?

Bernadette: How is that a drunk text?
Amy: He used a period instead of a question mark. He's so wasted!

Leonard: You know what we should do?
Sheldon: All go out and get vasectomies so this doesn't happen to us?

TBBT Quotes

Stephen Hawking: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite a boner.
Sheldon: No, no ... that can't be right. I-I don't make arithmetic mistakes.
Stephen Hawking: Are you saying I do?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. It's just, I was thinking.... Oh, gosh, golly, I made a boo-boo and I gave it to Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Great, another fainter.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.