Just because you have that accent doesn't mean what you say isn't stupid.

Howard

Howard: Wipe that smug smile off your face.
Bernadette: I can't.

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If there were a list of things that make me more comfortable, a list would be at the top of that list.

Sheldon

How many grown ups do you know with Mr. Spock oven mitts?

Leonard

Excuse me, no one does a better job at pretending to be a person than I do. Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.

Sheldon

Amy: Some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

You eat it. You're married. It doesn't matter what you look like.

Sheldon

He's having a rough time. Amy broke his heart. The DVR cut off the last minute of Dr. Who. That crow followed him home.

Leonard

I admire your father's work. It's not every day that I get to meet someone who's life journey began in my hero's scrotum.

Sheldon

This is a documentary about Mr. Spock. I'm sure if there is nudity it will be tasteful.

Sheldon

Raj: Oh, hey! High five!
Sheldon: Absolutely not.

Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon