The Magicians
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on SyFyThe Magicians Quotes
Zelda: Help me, please.
Alice: What’s going on? Who are they?
Zelda: Goths.
Alice: What, like Marilyn Manson?
Zelda: Visigoths.
Alice: Oh, Germanic barbarians.
Julia: Oh, fucking hell.
Clarion: Oh sorry. Did you want Hades? I could get word to him, but what a dick.
Clarion: But the way you’re imagining the harmonic convergence, isn’t quite enough. It’s so much worse. So when all the spells cast by all the magicians go haywire, you’re gonna get earthquakes, fire, drought, starvation, plague, and then comes cannibalism.
Julia: Um, is there anything you can do?
Clarion: I could stop it. How’d that be?
Julia: Great, but I’m assuming there’s something you want in return.
Clarion: Yeah. You have dealt with a god or two.
Sebastian: When we are alone, it can be Seb.
Eliot: Well Seb, we have a saying where I come from: “You kinda buried the lead on the … on you.
Sebastian: I didn’t mean to deceive you. Kings have to be very careful about who to trust and also it can be a relief to not …
Eliot: Feel the weight of the crown on your head every second.
Sebastian: You are wise, but I knew that already.
Kady: You met the nice me. Here’s the real me: Fuck off. What?
Fogg: Well, I take the anonymous part of Magicians Anonymous very seriously.
Kady: So you quit drinking?
Fogg: Thirty-three days, six hours, 19 minutes of skin peeling, soul-searing hell ago, yeah.
Leader: His Majesty is immortal, yes, but he is not invulnerable.
Margo: Which makes us …
Male centurion: Expendable.
Julia: I’m going to need a few more details. I don’t know, starting with why.
Clarion: Do I want to be human? Oh, it’s simple. So, I’m the goddess of melody, right, but did you know that we can’t actually feel music? Like we understand it, we can tell the good from the bad – ah, sort of.
Julia: So you want to be human so you can do karaoke?
Clarion: I know that it sounds like hubris itself, but I think I could be a rock star. I mean, I pretty much know the gig. Right, they all pray to me, except for Amy Winehouse -- OK, look how that one turned out. Poor thing. Any other questions.
Julia: Oh boy.
Clarion: You have one thing to trade Julia for one miracle. So your miracle can be to save your boyfriend or your world.
Julia: But you could save both.
Clarion: You know humans have exploited gods since you staggered upright. The deals that we make need to be strict, so this deal – one book, one miracle.
Julia: You’re really gonna make me choose? The planet or him?
Clarion: Yeah, I know it’s total bullshit, right? You see why I want to be human, like I can’t feel the melodies I’m goddess of, can’t bend the rules I didn’t make.
Julia: Don’t put this on your kind. This is you choosing.
Clarion: But the one who has to choose is you.
Zelda: If I could do it all again, I’d be a better mother, a truer friend. But I wasn’t. I’m not because I’ve given my life to this. It’s all I am; it’s all I have. I can’t lose everything.
Alice: You can. Believe me, I have.
Zelda: I’m sorry about Quentin, but this is different.
Alice: It’s not because whoever, whatever you loved that gets ripped away from you, it stays alive inside of us, in anyone you share it with.
Zelda: I can’t. I can’t. I’m not strong enough.
Penny: I feel better, so why do I feel like something really shitty went down? Maybe because you’re here.
The Binder: Like all humans, 23 saw little and knew less. What strange, sad, angry, narrow, little lives these humans stumbled.
Penny: OK, just tell me what you did to me.
Clarion: I helped you and now you’re gonna help me.
The Binder: The Binder reminded the goddess he couldn’t be forced to do anything he didn’t wish to.
Clarion: Ah, honey, I don’t force anyone. I just get what I want. Good-bye Julia, and for what it’s worth, I feel like you made the right decision.
Julia: For what it’s worth, go fuck yourself.
Merritt: This happened … this is because of me. I didn’t see it coming, and I never thought it would get this bad.
Penny: Merritt what could you have done?
Merritt: I should have told you the truth. My name – my real name – is Plum, Plum Merritt Chatwin.
Penny: Wait.
Julia: You’re a Chatwin?
Lipson: Wait, what do you mean? Like the kid’s books? I missed an episode.
Merritt: I am so sorry. I was terrified and alone and being here, it was the first time I felt safe, but I’m not. The thing with being a Chatwin is, it’s like a curse. It’s like there are things coming after you that you don’t understand. I don’t know what this signal is, but I know why it’s targeting me, and I’m going to figure out how to fix it.
Penny: So what do we do now? We try and trade with the Visigoths? What do we have that they want?
Alice: I mean, the overload kind of liked me.
Julia: Off the table.
Zelda: I read most of the books on the convergence, enough to know it can be stopped. It’s almost impossible but not complicated.
Alice: Zelda, please help.
Zelda: Of course. Well, all you have to do is move that?
Julia: Move?
Penny: The fucking moon.
Alice: At least we know where it is.
