Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.

I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.

Milhouse

Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?

Patty

Marge:You can live with your no good son.
Bart: Hey, what did I do?
Marge: Nothing for thirty years. You're perfect for each other.

Oh, why are you doing this to me booze, I drank every kind of you.

Homer

Come back, I'm a clown. I can't afford to look ridiculous.

Krusty

That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I could talk about with you in the room.

Homer

Bart: Homer, Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.

The closest thing I have to a father is the Obi-Wan doll in my store, and he comes from a race of celibate knights so...

Comic Book Guy

No one told me this roast would treat me the same way as every roast I've ever seen and laughed at.

Krusty

Rabbi Krustofski: What did the burning bush say?
Krusty: It said ow! Put me out! How many talking bushes do you think there are?

Bart: I want you to binge watch all the shows you've ever done.
Krusty: I've never said no to a binge.

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

</i> Abe