Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.

• Permalink: At least we hope it's bottom.
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I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.

Milhouse

• Permalink: I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.
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Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?

Patty

• Permalink: Justin Blobber over there doesn't remind you of anyone?
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Marge:You can live with your no good son.
Bart: Hey, what did I do?
Marge: Nothing for thirty years. You're perfect for each other.

• Permalink: Nothing for thirty years. You're perfect for each other.
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Oh, why are you doing this to me booze, I drank every kind of you.

Homer

• Permalink: Oh, why are you doing this to me booze, I drank every kind of you.
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Come back, I'm a clown. I can't afford to look ridiculous.

Krusty

• Permalink: Come back, I'm a clown. I can't afford to look ridiculous.
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That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I could talk about with you in the room.

Homer

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Bart: Homer, Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.

• Permalink: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.
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The closest thing I have to a father is the Obi-Wan doll in my store, and he comes from a race of celibate knights so...

Comic Book Guy

• Permalink: The closest thing I have to a father is the Obi-Wan doll in my store, and he comes from a...
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No one told me this roast would treat me the same way as every roast I've ever seen and laughed at.

Krusty

• Permalink: No one told me this roast would treat me the same way as every roast I've ever seen and...
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Rabbi Krustofski: What did the burning bush say?
Krusty: It said ow! Put me out! How many talking bushes do you think there are?

• Permalink: It said ow! Put me out! How many talking bushes do you think there are?
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Bart: I want you to binge watch all the shows you've ever done.
Krusty: I've never said no to a binge.

• Permalink: I've never said no to a binge.
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