The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Quotes
Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!
Kang and Kodos
Kodos: It looks like the Earthlings won.
Kang: Did they? Right now they have a board with a nail in it. But they won't stop there. Soon they will make bigger boards with bigger nails until they make a board with a nail in it so big it will destroy them all!
Homer: (In Morocco) How could Princess Grace live in a dump like this?
Lisa: Dad, that was Monaco!
Smithers: (Over P.A.) Attention Homer Simpson. Attention Homer Simpson.
(Homer is still dozing at his post)
Smithers: Wake up, Homer! (Homer awakens)
Smithers: You're fired.
Homer: For what?
Smithers: For sleeping on the job.
Homer: How'd you know I was sleeping?
Smithers: We've been watching you on the surveillance camera.
Homer: Camera? (Spots the camera) D'oh!
Hey, If you don't like it, go to Russia!
Homer
Homer: That Monkeys Paw is going to make our dreams come true!
Maggie: suck
Lisa: Oh no! Maggie made a wish! (the family hear a car horn)
Homer: Oooh! A luxury car! Good Maggie!
Marge: (someone's at the door, she opens it) Ooh, a new pacifier.
(The car drives off)
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: No more fooling around, paw, I wish for The Simpsons to be rich and famous!
Homer: Now you're talking!
Lisa: Yaaaay!
Marge: My purse just exploded!
Homer: Come on everybody, we're going to the fanciest restaurant in town!
Lisa: I wish for world peace!
Homer: Lisa that was very selfish of you!
I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!
Homer
Lisa: Bart, Bart! I had a bad dream; can I sleep in your bed?
Bart: No!
Lisa: I'll give you a candy necklace...
Bart: Climb aboard.
Krusty: (Laughs weakly) Well, we're still on... three hundred and forty- six consecutive hours, and all because of one little boy who--Who won't let me stop! (Delirious) Okay, now let's go and see if Sideshow Mel has any more of those legal over-the-counter wakeup drugs of his.
Audience: Yaaaaaay!
Lisa/Bart: Mom, dad!
Marge: My goodness what's wrong?
Bart: We both had nightmares!
Lisa: Can we sleep with you?
Homer: Are you both toilet trained?
Lisa: Yes!
Homer: Oh okay then...
