The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Quotes
Smithers: It's the man in the bag sir; I think he's still alive!
(Mr. Burns beats the bag with a shovel.)
Mr. Burns: Bad corpse, bad corpse! Stop scaring Smithers! Satisfied?
Smithers: Thank you, sir.
Marge: It's your father, he's missing.
Bart: Dad's missing? Get outta here!
Marge: He's been gone for two days!
Lisa: What do you know, she's right!
Mr. Burns: Will you quit your complaining!
Smithers: Sir, You know what this means? He is alive.
Mr. Burns: Oh, you're right Smithers; I guess I owe you a Coke.
Hello, everyone. Before last year's Halloween show, I warned you not to let your children watch. But you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse. It's scarier, more violent, and I think they snuck in some bad language, too. So please, tuck in your children and-- (sighing) --well, if you didn't listen to me last time, you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.
Marge
Marge: If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares.
Bart: Oh yeah, everybody in the family is going to have bad nightmares tonight, ha!
Lisa: Oh yeah, three bad nightmares.
Homer: I'd like to see that! Heh heh heh!
Vendor: Sir, I must strongly advise you: Do not purchase this. Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune. I, myself, was once president of Algeria.
Homer: Come on, pal, I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me!
Woman #1: If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons, I swear, I'm going to scream.
Woman #2: At first they were cute and funny, but now they are just annoying.
Come to think of it, the guy that sold me this thing did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colorful.
Homer
He gets it from your side of the family, you know. No monsters on my side.
Homer
Homer: Son, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: That's okay, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Homer: Why you little!
Bart: We came to talk to you about your son.
Rabbi Krustofski: I have no son! (Slams door)
Bart: Oh, great, we came all this way and it's the wrong guy.
Rabbi Krustofski: (Re-opens door) I didn't mean that literally! (Re-slams door)
(singing) We've had lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of fun, but now the time has come... to go. If this old clown was found dead in his bed tomorrow, I'd be in heaven, still doing this show.
Krusty
