Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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After seven years, I finally move out of your house, and within two days, I burn my new home down. You can't write this stuff.

Alan

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Related Quotes:
Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 4 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 4 Quotes

Charlie: I promise I'll get a quiet hooker.
Alan: Believe or not, that's a real concession on his part.

Charlie: You guys are no fun, I'm gonna call a hooker.
Lyndsey: Charlie, there's two boys in the house!
Charlie: Let them get their own hookers.