Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

And the best part of all is without Jake here, Mom has no reason to visit. Heck, I might not see her at all til we meet in hell

Charlie

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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes

Jake: Even though Mom stopped loving you and Kandi stopped loving you, you don't have to worry about me.
Alan: Thanks, pal!
Jake: You're my dad. I pretty much gotta love you.

Alan: Listen, I-- I really need to talk to you. Can you come downstairs?
Charlie: Sure. Give me... an hour and a half.
Alan: An hour and a half?
Charlie: I know it's a little rushed, but we're on a tight schedule here! Tina's got homework, Cindy's got to meet her fiancé, and Marie... well, Marie's on the clock.
Alan: You already had two women in bed and you felt the need to call a professional?
Charlie: Better safe than sorry.

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