The Office

Thursdays 9:00 PM on NBC

Follow @OfficeTVF

Andy Bernard Quotes (Page 7)

Season 6, Episode 11: "Shareholder Meeting"

Pam: Don't do the twirl.
Phyllis: Lose the twril.
Dwight: Twirl sucks!
Kevin: Michael, I hated the twirl.
Andy: Hate the twirl!
Michael: Okay, obviously I'm not going to do the twirl. I only did it because I nailed the wave.
Phyllis: Yeah, good. Don't do it.
• Rating: Unrated

Oscar: I just want to take this stupid board of directors by their necks. This. Is. So. Simple!
Andy: Yeah. Well you should do that. Get in line.
Oscar: Oh what a great idea, and lose my job. No thank you.
Andy: Look. Do you want to be able to tell your grandkids you stood up for yourself, during America's biggest financial crisis?
Dwight: How is he going to have grandkids.
• Rating: Unrated

Andy: I'm so jealous right now.
Michael: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited, and you, you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Michael: What?
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael: The limo seats eight.
Michael: Okay. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: I wish the windows weren't tinted so people could see us in here.
Andy: Hey you guys do you think anyone might have had sex in here?
Dwight: Definitely, definitely! Smells like it!
• Rating: Unrated

Andy: Michael, what if somebody asks you a question at this meeting? Are you just going to wave or what-
Michael: I will have to answer!
Dwight: I'll ask you a question!
Andy: Make it a softball. Something he can, like, crank out of the park.
Dwight: "Michael Scott, you run the most profitable branch of Dunder Mifflin. How do you do it?"
Michael: No! No! That's too hard. Say! "Your name is Zamboni." And then I will say, "Well! We're sort of on thin ice."
Andy: Heyyy-yo!!!!
• Rating: Unrated

Andy: I've always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. In high school, I organized a walk out over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a 1220. Always regretted it... I feel lachrymose.
• Rating: Unrated

Season 6, Episode 10: "Murder"

Andy: I was just thinking about Weekend at Bernie's. Guy's dead the whole time! It's funny.
Erin: I haven't seen it.
Andy: Speaking of weekends. Are you excited about our date this weekend?
Erin: Of course Nathaniel! Where are ya takin' me?
Andy: Finest steak house in all Savannah?
Erin: Savannah? That's a long way from Scranton!
Andy: Did you mean a real date?
Erin: No. Did you?
Andy: Totally ... not!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: I'm a little worried that I may have asked out Naughty Nellie instead of Erin. Which would be a whole lot less appealing because Naughty Nellie says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: Oooh, now do the Swedish chef!
Andy: I'm not familiar, what province is he from?
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street, you dumbass.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0