NCIS

Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes (Page 10)

Tony: [after woman fires rifle at the door]: Who do you think you are, Sarah Palin?
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Tony: [on phone] I can't hear you, McGee. I'm in the basement.
McGee: Why?
Tony: Because I don't want to talk about the case in front of Leila and the kid.
Abby: Listen, Tony, this is really important. I need you to check the seams of the walls.
Tony: The walls?
Abby: Well do they appear to be removable?
Tony: Huh.
McGee: Abby.
Abby: Or a tunnel, maybe?! It could be hidden under something on the floor. Something that looks like it doesn't belong.
Tony: Actually, I think Colonel Hogan has got a radio in the coffee pot, but the tunnel might have been filled in.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tony: I called and you didn't pick up.
Franks: I'm not going to answer the phone! I'm a fugitive!
Tony: So what do you want me to do?!
Franks: Knock!
Tony: Why would I knock? There's no lock on that door!
Franks: Someone may be on the other side with a gun??
Tony: Why would someone be standing on the other side with a gun?!
Franks: Because there's no lock on the door!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ziva: This is Gibbs' boat.
Abby: This is the crime scene! It was flown here on a C130 cargo plane along with two bodies and all the evidence, and now it is mine. It is all mine! So I can figure out the mystery!
McGee: What mystery? Who the dead guys were?
Ziva: Or who killed them.
Tony: Or how they ended up on the boat.
Abby: Sure, you guys should work on that! While I figure out how he got it out of the basement!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ziva: And what do you know about the American Dream?
Tony: I'm a white male between the ages of 18 and 49 with a gun. I AM the American Dream.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ziva: For my sanity, can you not call me Probie?
Tony: But I say it with love.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tony: You seem to be attracted to men who have a hard time staying alive.
Sarah: I'm attracted to men with honor. Dignity. Who serve their country.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony: Probies, talk louder, I can hear you in there.
Ziva: McGee has been at NCIS for six years. I have been here four. We ARE agents, so can you PLEASE stop calling us ...
Gibbs: Problem, Probie?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ziva: You cannot even work your email properly! You always reply to all. It drives me absolutely nuts! You know, when it comes to computers, you are almost as incompetent as Gib - [looks around]
Tony: You thought Gibbs was behind you. You know why? Because sneaky people expect sneakiness. It's a vicious circle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony: What's with the sushi bar?
Ducky: Staff Sargeant Cryer's body was not alone on its considerable time adrift.
Tony: Yum.
Ducky: That's probably what they said when they were feeding on his flesh.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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