NCIS

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Ncis

Vance: Where is he?
McGee: It's haircut Tuesday, Director Vance.
Tony: Yeah, the bowl should be coming off his head just about now.

Gibbs: You volunteering for that, are you DiNozzo?
Tony: Stripper. Caribbean beach. Is that a trick question?
Gibbs: Behave yourself, Skippy.
Tony: Aye, aye sir.

Tony [to Ned Dorneget]: What in the name of Brooks Brothers are you wearing? You look exactly like what you are: a pubescent federal agent.

Tony: Couldn't help noticing you're sitting here all alone. I thought maybe you'd want some company?
Melissa: Sure. Your partner won't mind?
Tony: Partner?
Melissa: I assumed you two are a couple. Just... your shirt. So...pink.

Light me up, Lord of the Tickets. It's story time.

Tony: ...but lucky for us we've got morning check-ins, email chain letters. Hey - international coffees of the week.
McGee: Yeah that Indonesian Wildboar blend was pretty bitter.
Tony: Bitter. Coffee almost killed me. Seriously, that's dangerous stuff. It's like putting a hot poker up my bum.

Craig: Leon. Good to see you. I didn't know you're coming by for a visit.
Vance: I'm not visiting, I'm here to work.
Craig: Oh, okay. Let me just grab some things from your office...
Vance: No need. I'll be down here. With them.

Tony: So is he back for good?
Gibbs: I don't know.
Tony: But he's not Director Vance. So he's Agent Vance. Would that make him Probie Vance?
Gibbs: DiNozzo. Enough, okay?

Drop the bone Mr. Kang. You're coming with us. [Aside to Gibbs] Look at the size of that guy.

Ziva: DiNozzo, pull it together.
Tony: Kids. This is way above my pay grade. I spent the afternoon in a child care clinic when I almost lost my life.
Ziva: Stop stop stop stop. We're doing the director a favor, okay? We just need to be here, we need to be normal. Can you just please do that for a few hours?
Tony: Sure. Fine.
Ziva: Fine.
Tony: Only because you asked nicely.

Ziva: All warehouses are the same.
Tony: Up there with old houses, churches and prisons. Gives me the willies.
Ziva: Is that the thing where people lick their fingers and them they put it in someone's ear?
Tony: That's a wet willy.

Khan: Natural ingredients break down faster. I only eat organic.
Tony: Well that's about to change. Along with a few other aspects of your ironic hipster lifestyle. So whaddya say Chaka Khan? Ready to roll on MC Hammer?
Khan: You don't know anything about music.
Tony: I know it pretty much died around 1977.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 255 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about it

Tony
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