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Ncis

Ziva: All warehouses are the same.
Tony: Up there with old houses, churches and prisons. Gives me the willies.
Ziva: Is that the thing where people lick their fingers and them they put it in someone's ear?
Tony: That's a wet willy.

Khan: Natural ingredients break down faster. I only eat organic.
Tony: Well that's about to change. Along with a few other aspects of your ironic hipster lifestyle. So whaddya say Chaka Khan? Ready to roll on MC Hammer?
Khan: You don't know anything about music.
Tony: I know it pretty much died around 1977.

Tony: Why do you do what you do?
Khan: If I asked you the same thing, I suspect our answers would be the same.
Tony: Duty?
Khan: No. There are two reasons that are far more base. The steady pay check. Power. The feeling that you've--
Tony: Made a difference.
Khan: Conquered something. Like Caesar.

Tony: So he pulls me into his office and I think he's going to chew me out for that thing I said about his hair, right? But no. He wants to know if I think he's being doing an okay job.
McGee: The deputy is no Director Vance, that's for sure.

Tony: It's weird doing this stuff without her [Abby] isn't it? It's like going to a puppet show, except all the puppets are just laying there on the stage. These dead puppets. Sorry.
Ziva: Why are you sorry?
Tony: It's ...
Ziva: My father dies and all of a sudden you cannot talk to me about dead puppets. I'm fine, Tony.

Tony: Tell me. What can I do? What do you need?
Ziva: Revenge.

Tony: So help me, McBlivious, if you don't pounce on that hot Israeli action I will never forgive you.
McGee: Gabby's a spy, Tony. Flirting's just another weapon in her arsenal.
Tony: And what an arsenal, huh? That wasn't just flirting, Tim. That was....flirting. For whatever reason, she's caught the mc-fever and you're the only cure.

Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".

I bet she's a panther in the sack!

Male friends only want to sleep with you. Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, When Harry Met Sally.

No name, but Marge Simpson was a regular.

Doug: Stop talking to me like that.
Tony: Stop lying to me like that.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 245 in total

NCIS Quotes

You know what your grandpa used to say? Water never forgets. Anyone with a boat named them will live forever. How about that?

Ann Gibbs

She's a probie. Besides, Tony did a whole lot worse to me.

McGee
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