Gibbs: Where's McGee?
Tony: Overslept.
Ziva: doctor's visit.
Gibbs: Uh huh.

McGee: Boss I'm sorry. I know. I know. I'm an hour and forty six minutes late.
Tony: Forty-seven Tim Tebow. Better put a knee down. Start praying.
Gibbs: Let's go, McGee. Sick bay. Come on.
Tony: I love it when he's late.

McGee: Stan's a good guy. Besides, he knows that Ziva's vulnerable right now.
Tony: Aha. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You see he would use that to his advantage. Swoop right in, like a hawk going after a sweet, innocent, furry little Israeli.

Tony: Well you have got a long list of juvie priors, a history of possessions and frankly a blood workout that makes Sid Vicious look clean.
Wyath: Sid who?

Tony: If Vance is waiting for Robin Williams in drag to come floating on some magic umbrella, singing "Do Re Mi", he's going to be waiting a long time.
McGee: Wow Tony, three movie nannies in one reference. That's impressive.

Ziva: Anything new on the nanny front?
McGee: Not that I've heard. Vance's search enters its second week.
Tony: Which left his agents feeling like a gaggle of nuns waiting on white smoke from the Vatican chimney.

Pitt: My sister's kid. Useless.
Tony: Useless. Well with a name like that, what do you expect?

Pitt: Me, I'm not the coddling type.
McGee and Tony: We've noticed

Tony: Mr. Pitt, you sit tight.
Pitt: Sit tight for what? I just said I didn't kill him.
McGee: Until we know that's true, you're still facing a weapons charge.
Tony: Assault with a deadly Dobie.

Tony: You know, I've been thinking about getting a dog.
Gibbs: He's not a dog. He's a Marine.

Vance: Where is he?
McGee: It's haircut Tuesday, Director Vance.
Tony: Yeah, the bowl should be coming off his head just about now.

Gibbs: You volunteering for that, are you DiNozzo?
Tony: Stripper. Caribbean beach. Is that a trick question?
Gibbs: Behave yourself, Skippy.
Tony: Aye, aye sir.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee