Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Liz Allen: I think my husband's having an affair.
Tony: Unbelievable. A guy'd have to be nuts to cheat on a dame like you.
Tony: Don't be stupid, probie. I can make your life miserable. Just ask McGee.
Bishop: We saw your father at the hotel with a woman.
Bishop: And she's very beautiful.
Bishop: Very young. And, she's very pregnant.
Tony: So here's what I'm thinking. You jump on a later plan, and we all go out and have a little family dinner.
Tony Sr.: I love you, Tony. I love you.
Delilah: Since you're all here, I would like to thank you for taking out that evil coward bastard Benham Parsa.
Tony: You know, that was actually the name on the death certificate?
Tony: Having flashbacks to my childhood. Reminds me of Sunday dinners with dad. Stepmoms two and four.
McGee: What should we do?
Tony: Same thing I did as a kid. Keep your head down, wait to be excused, you go to your room and play with yourself.
Bishop: How long did it take you to figure him out?
Tony: Gibbs? Any day now. You'll pick up a few cues here and there, but don't expect an answer key.
Tony: C'mon McGee. Lean on me.
McGee: No, thank you Tony.
Tony: Sometimes it helps to have somebody to talk to, and believe it or not I can be a good listener.
Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.
Martinez: Bishop! You didn't tell me Robert Redford was in the building.
Tony: Come on. I rarely get the Redford. You could be my Debra Winger, legal eagle.
Martinez: I love her.
Bishop: If you could send those reports, that'd be great.
Tony: Reports would be good. And keep us in the loop on anything else.
Martinez: Sure thing, Di-knows-it-all. Sure thing.
Is she single? No. That's a bad idea. I mean, she reminds me of someone annoying. I just can't figure out who it is.
Tony: Tim butt-dialed me.
McGee: Well it doesn't mean you have to listen.
Tony: Oh yes it does. I find you compelling, Tim.