Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
McGee: Sleep deprivation affects high level cognitive functions, cardiovascular health, circulation.
Tony: You just Googled that on the ride over didn't you?
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Tony: Choward's scented gum.
Gibbs: That mean something to you?
Tony: Yeah. It means McGee's right. I'm starting to see things.
- Permalink: Choward's scented gum. That mean something to you? Yeah. It...
Tony: Hey. Delilah. Why are you here?
Delilah: Haven't you heard? Transfer just came in. It's official - I'm joining the team.
McGee: Careful Delilah. Tony's operating on a serious sleep deficit. His neural transmitters aren't processing humor right now.
Delilah: I was just kidding, Tony.
- Permalink: Hey. Delilah. Why are you here? Haven't you heard? Transfer...
Tony: Do I seem okay to you?
Ducky: Markedly better than the last occupant of that table.
- Permalink: Do I seem okay to you? Markedly better than the last occupant ...
Tony: He made a run for it. Drew on him but I couldn't pull the trigger. You would have had him on the ground in two seconds flat. Taken out a leg or shot him in the ass.
Gibbs: Well. You followed your gut.
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Tony: Maybe I was wrong about a lot of people.
Gibbs: Are we still talking about the case?
Tony: It's so interesting. No one will say her name. Have you noticed? It's like she's dead. Every time I look at her desk, every time I close my eyes....I just feel like I made a mistake. Like I made the wrong decision. Only it wasn't me who decided. So yeah - I'm probably wrong to think Anton's innocent in all this.
Gibbs: I'll trust you any time.
- Permalink: Maybe I was wrong about a lot of people. Are we still talking ...
Tony: I want to help.
Anton: One thing I've learned, Tony. Just because you want it doesn't mean it's going to happen.
Tony: Tell me about it. It's funny - never stops me from trying.
- Permalink: I want to help. One thing I've learned, Tony. Just because yo...
McGee: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you, in some kind of twelve-stop program for recovering misogynists?
Tony: These past few weeks have been.....interesting, haven't they? It's just gotten me thinking about the choices that we make and the people that we let in, or don't let in. Just trying to make it better. Any more questions?
McGee: Yeah. What'd you do with the real Tony?
Tony: Maybe this is the real Tony.
- Permalink: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you, in some kind of twelve-stop prog...
Tony: It's obvious you're looking to hire a replacement.
McGee: I don't know. Maybe you think we need the help. Three's the magic number. Who knows? But, we don't need anyone else, boss. And we don't want anyone either.
Gibbs: I was talking about the murder.
- Permalink: It's obvious you're looking to hire a replacement. Motive? ...
Grady: You all really care. About the job, but also about each other.
Tony: Well sometimes it's a pain in the ass.
- Permalink: You all really care. About the job, but also about each other. ...
Purcell: What happens now?
Tony: You're going to be held in a detention facility and booked for accessory to murder, illegal sale of explosive, and assaulting two federal officers.
Purcell: Two federal officers?
Tony: Yeah. Me and Agent Strickland.
Purcell: That old broad is an agent?
Vera: I just need one minute with that clown.
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Murray: This kind of looks like you.
Tony: It is.
Murray: How close were you two?
Tony: Give me that.
- Permalink: This kind of looks like you. It is. How close were you two? ...
McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating