Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: Sgt. Dunne, Olivia Chandler and Wendell Kaiser all have one thing in common. They all go to AA meetings.
McGee: Probably where they met.
Tony: The sergeant and the trophy wife are lovers. The desk clerk at the Chevy Chase Lodge said that they were regulars. It's just like that movie "Body Heat". William Hurt and Kathleen Turner. God. She was really something, boss. A head turner. Anyway, they were young lovers and they wanted the rich husband's money and him out of the way.
McGee: On the other hand, you've got Wendell Kaiser who's deep in debt to his bookie and needs him off his back.
Tony: So they help each other and switch murders.
McGee: While Kaiser was in New York, Dunne killed the bookie with Olivia's help. She drove him. Her car was in the vicinity. Who would ever suspect them? I mean there's no connection, no motive.
Tony: Tomorrow, Sgt. Dunne is going to deploy. Olivia Chandler's off to Jamaica. And I'm betting that while they're away, her husband's going to have a terrible accident at the hands of Mr. Kaiser here - a man with whom he has no connection.
McGee: I see that victim sensitivity training really paid off.
Tony: I think somebody's been spending a little too much time watching Bette Midler movies. Delilah have you sit down and watch "Beaches" again?
McGee: Leave her out of it.
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McGee: You don't deserve yogurt, you know that? All you do is bash people: me, the suit guy, Jackson.
Tony: Okay. I got it. Thanks for setting me straight. You are the wind beneath my wings.
Asabe Dawson: Why couldn't he have just let the man have the money?
Tony: He's still a Marine, even on leave.
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Tony: Now me, I like a challenge. Pulling one over on Gibbs - that would be a feat for the ages.
McGee: What do you have - a death wish?
Tony: I like to live dangerously.
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Tony: Oil business has Benham Parsa written all over it.
McGee: They don't think there's a connection. Intel shows that Parsa's still underground.
We live in a strange world, McGee. I miss the days when computer nerds looked like you.
Tony: I've got an uneasy feeling, McGee.
McGee: Well I told you not to order Chinese from a Mexican restaurant.
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Tony: You're a special lady, Borin. Can't wait to meet the peg-leg gentleman who woos you.
Borin: Yo ho ho, DiNozzo.
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Gibbs: Whaddya got?
Borin: We have a problem.
Gibbs: Worse than DiNozzo's crabs?
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McGee: Exactly how early were you up?
Tony: Technically I haven't slept.
McGee: At all? You want to talk about it?
Tony: I feel we just did.
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McGee: Sleep deprivation affects high level cognitive functions, cardiovascular health, circulation.
Tony: You just Googled that on the ride over didn't you?
- Permalink: Sleep deprivation affects high level cognitive functions, cardio...
McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating